dankmeems

[dankmeems @mimidlugos]

What does a relaxed jaw feel like

[dankmeems @mimidlugos]

I had a dream that Harry styles was wheelchair bound, had a Charlie Brown amount of hair on his head and I asked if he had cancer. He said no, he just got too drunk and hit his head hit his head and now he is like this

[dankmeems @mimidlugos]

farting with people > farting alone

[dankmeems @mimidlugos]

Let’s go griffins !!!! #gogrg @griffinshockey

[dankmeems @mimidlugos]

There’s not a single golden buzzer that I won’t sob to

[dankmeems @mimidlugos]

I could watch hours and hours of americas got talent golden buzzer auditions

[dankmeems @mimidlugos]

Man, America’s got talent golden buzzers make me cry every time

[dankmeems @mimidlugos]

Double the fun at the griffs game #gogrg #doublechins

[dankmeems @mimidlugos]

I wonder how many times twin babies are switched at birth

[dankmeems @mimidlugos]

Where did the people who built Home Depot’s find the stuff to build Home Depot’s

[dankmeems @mimidlugos]

Canned vodka is false

[dankmeems @mimidlugos]

Canned wine is truth

[shelby wolstein @ShelbyWolstein]

i dont simply go through airport security. i have a goal. i want everyone in line to be blown away by my efficiency. i want to be celebrated as i push my belongings across the table. i want TSA to offer me a job (i’ll decline). i want people talking about me at their gate. glory.

[dankmeems @mimidlugos]

@eaknezevich LMFAO

[dankmeems @mimidlugos]

Why does everyone think sliced bread is cool

[Bryce Boverhof @broverhof]

They call us entitled because we want to own a home, as they actively make it impossible for us.

[dankmeems @mimidlugos]

@RedactedThane @wickedfairysad @emeriticus It may only look like a measly 6.6%…but don’t forget the 5.4% that vanguard owns…oh and don’t forget that blackrock is the largest share holder for vanguard… there’s 12% right there…more than any other shareholder.. the power is not in the people. The power is in the rich.

[dankmeems @mimidlugos]

Jeff bezos looks like a wanna be Vin Diesel

[dankmeems @mimidlugos]

Example: here I am, genuinely having fun, shopping around by myself, trying on cool clothes and my whole face is screaming “someone console me”

[dankmeems @mimidlugos]

Realizing today that what I have isn’t a resting bitch face, it’s a resting sad face