GQ: Are you perhaps tired of talking about art? I know you’ve already explained on various channels why you quit art. I wonder if that past holds no meaning for you anymore.
HB: No, not necessarily. It’s a story that those who know, know, and those who don’t. I think the simplest way to put it is, “I realized the limits of my talent and quit.”
GQ: Is it a story that can be summarized as the limits of talent?
HB: If I had to summarize it, I think so. I mean, the limits of talent and passion. Since passion is also a kind of talent. I believe that liking something can also be a talent.
GQ: Leaving aside being good at it, just liking it is also a talent.
HB: Because there is definitely a certain amount of time and density that such people create. Even if they lack talent, there are people who build it up with tremendous effort and affection, and there are definitely results that produce. People ask, “Did you suddenly get this good at drawing?” Because ultimately, it is something that accumulates. To draw perfectly in an instant with innate talent—I think that is actually a very fleeting thing.
GQ: It’s something you keep building up.
HB Absolutely. Even great masters like Picasso and Van Gogh painted so diligently. (Laughs) They were born talented, but they just worked hard on it. That’s why we can’t quite match them... I think liking a job and doing it faithfully is also a kind of talent.
GQ: You mentioned that your interest in art started because your father worked in design, right?
HB: That’s part of it, but it was also natural. I’ve been drawing since I was a baby, and I was good at it. Back then, I couldn't help but take it for granted. That’s why I went to college, but once I actually got into school, I gradually realized that wasn't the case. I think I received good inspiration from the friends who were good at it, but I was really shocked by the friends who weren't good but worked hard. They worked so hard, loved it so much, were so happy, and just kept doing it. I was in a situation where I wanted to produce decent results with minimal effort, but those friends weren't like that. You can't call it talent when you want to do a job half-heartedly.
GQ: Should I say you were quick to judge, or quick to decide? For someone who had taken drawing for granted since childhood to change their path in less than a year of majoring.
HB: I think I saw it quickly because I had viewed it that way.
GQ: Rather. The question of whether to continue or not.
HB: Yes. Actually, back then, that was such a shock and so hard for me. It was a series of days where I couldn't sleep, just crying and wailing. Because my world had collapsed.
GQ: So that was the case? You talked about it so casually that I assumed you were fine.
HB: It's been 20 years, and if I were still acting like that, that would be a problem, too. (Laughs) Back then, I was getting completely destroyed every single day. Every single day. Amidst all that destruction, there was this one thing that happened: I had a class called 'Art and Humanities,' where we had to read a text and then discuss it for three hours. People reveal a lot during discussions. No matter how much you base your talk on the text, it shows that they hold certain values and that they consider certain things important. But after taking that class for a year, the teacher wrote me a card. She said it was okay not to try so hard, and that she wanted to see me happy doing what I love. When I read that, I sobbed, sobbed again. All those moments accumulated over time.
GQ: Did you sob because it was exposed that you didn't love it that much?
HB: Someone knows, you know. That I am trying so hard. Who saw that I am someone who struggles with everything I am doing right now, even though I don't like it?
GQ: If you were to hang just one painting in your room for the rest of your life, which piece would you choose?
HB: We've actually had a similar conversation before. Back then, I thought, "It’s one thing to like it, but should I go for something expensive? Is that room really mine right now? Will I be the one buying it, or will someone else?" Since I'm an 'N', I have to go into very detailed imagination. (Laughs) When asked to decide something, I tend to think too deeply. But I think I mentioned Cy Twombly back then. I felt that if I had a painting of his in a suitable size, I would want to look at it for the rest of my life. I think I still feel the same way now. I suppose I would end up choosing from among the artists I like, right? Oh, right now, there is an artist whose work I enjoyed seeing in the U.S., and recently heard the news that they are exhibiting at the Busan Museum of Contemporary Art, so I wanted to go see them again. Hilma af Klint.
GQ: Cy Twombly, Hilma af Klint. If I had to link them, the commonality is that they are abstract artists. And they use color very actively.
HB: (Mark) I like Rothko, too. Well, I think I like a wide variety of things. However, paintings that you keep looking at inevitably have a significant impact on you. That is why, even though I like them, I used to think I shouldn't hang up Rothko's paintings.
GQ: There is a bit of melancholy in them.
HB: They are melancholic, and because they are paintings that keep dragging you in that direction. It can't be helped. But since I would want to hang a painting that isn't like that—one that still gives me some good energy—Hilma af Klint comes to mind.
GQ: I get to know this through this opportunity. Her paintings are very cheerful.
HB: They are truly beautiful in person. I don't think she was always such a cheerful person. She lived a very long time ago, in the 1800s. She received recognition a bit late.
GQ: Do you happen to grow plants?
HB: I don't grow them myself; my mom grows a lot of them. But I think I do like plants. I like forests and parks, and I enjoy going there for walks.
GQ: There’s no need to compare an actor's daily life with their work, but since your new project currently in preparation is (working title) Gardeners, I just wanted to bring it up.
HB: Yes. (Laughs) But strangely enough, plants grow really well at our house. I wonder if my mom puts that much care into them. There are many plants that have been growing for years. Even orchids bloom again after a year has passed.
GQ: That’s fascinating, especially for someone who kills even cactus. I guess plants need affection to grow well, too.
HB: There is a book called The Plant Grim Reaper; you should give it a read.
GQ: Is there such a book?
HB: I read it because the title was interesting, but it is an essay, and the author is someone who sells plants. It was about how to make plants grow well, why they die, and things like how giving them sunlight isn't necessarily good, or that giving them too much water isn't good either— I think that was the gist of it. GQ I know, right. They say some plants shouldn't be watered too much.
HB Then there are some that need to be watered every day. Everyone has what works best for them; in a way, it's obvious, but we don't really tend to think about that.
It is the middle of the rainy season, and I long to hear the voice of Shin Hyunbeen quietly reading the words of Émil Cioran for a long time. "Everything is possible, and everything is impossible. Everything is permitted, and everything is not permitted. To realize something and to do nothing, to believe and not to believe—all of these are one. Is there anything to gain or lose in this world? To gain is to lose, and to lose is to gain." This is the passage "It Doesn't Matter" from the book The Darkest Hour Is Before Dawn, which gave her strength during a difficult time in the past and which she reads periodically ever since. "In a way, it sounds very cynical, but there is a kind of comfort this book offers. Once I realized that nothing can be definitively judged, I was actually able to accept the situation presented to me right now with greater clarity. In the end, I realized there is nothing left but to ride the flow and work hard on what I can do."
Shin Hyunbeen’s current journey flows from Jang Gyeoul in Hospital Playlist, who resembled winter; to Miran in Beasts Clawing at Straws, whose sudden flash of murderous intent was like thunder; to Jung Younghee in The Ugly, whose expressions were visible even without seeing her face; and recently, to Gong Seolhee in Colony and Kang Miae in her upcoming project (working title) Gardeners. Since it doesn't matter we have captured Shin Hyunbeen’s present who can do anything, in the August issue of GQ and at https://t.co/gEGZMXSqaS.