Thinking out loud

[Thinking out loud @mind_dusting]

“less talk, more coffee” could be my moto

[Thinking out loud @mind_dusting]

tomorrow it is six months of pure happiness and constant fear - baby turns half year old. I couldn t imagine my head was able to create so many different accident scenarios every day to be scared of! But overall it is some kind of magic - that love.

[Thinking out loud @mind_dusting]

who knew i would become jam-cooking and berries-freezing mom, life is a funny thing

[Thinking out loud @mind_dusting]

how can it be that we want to be the best version of ourselves for our loved ones, yet we can be the meanest ones to them. i guess that is the true meaning for “be as you are”. good or bad.

[Thinking out loud @mind_dusting]

weird thing that life is. Want it to be so colorfull yet my favorite color is still grey.

[Thinking out loud @mind_dusting]

@wiseconnector their own expectations.

[Thinking out loud @mind_dusting]

@wiseconnector 26 - still young enough to go crazy, but old enough to be respected by others.

[Thinking out loud @mind_dusting]

Weird feeling to kinda want to cry all the time, but not enough to actully cry. Like being stuck in that grey area. In between sadness and happiness. #missedpregnancy

[Thinking out loud @mind_dusting]

We lost it. Our pregnancy - we lost it. How to live with that? #pregnancy #fertility #tryingforbaby

[Thinking out loud @mind_dusting]

it is two lines. or maybe i am dreaming. it has been so long.. one of them is very light, but cannot be unseen. this might become one of the most important days of my life. #pregnancy #fertility

[Thinking out loud @mind_dusting]

so tired of belly pain with no following success.

[Thinking out loud @mind_dusting]

This is last cycle we are trying to stimulate my ovaries and get pregnant naturally. Doctor says - that is it. Next step seems to be- getting ready for IVF. #fertility #IVF #tryingforbaby

[Thinking out loud @mind_dusting]

Weird thing that music. Almost each song can be related to a person, place or memory. One drive home from work can be such an emotional rollercoaster if you really dive in. #music

[Thinking out loud @mind_dusting]

slowly starting to accept the idea that baby won't come naturally.
reality check. #IVF

[Thinking out loud @mind_dusting]

Oh, making injection to myself is something new. Not the best experience tho. #babyplease #expecting

[Thinking out loud @mind_dusting]

pills forever, baby please come.
getting ready to have stomach pain for a week or more again. PMS pain, menstruation pain and then - after pain, 90% of a month - pain.

[Thinking out loud @mind_dusting]

yet another "missed" month.
negative.
not sure how long i will be able to continue, not sure if i am strong enough.

[Thinking out loud @mind_dusting]

all those vitamins I am now taking - i should turn into some superhuman soon i guess.

[Thinking out loud @mind_dusting]

baby, where are you.

[Thinking out loud @mind_dusting]

Sometimes I think way too much about some of my actions in the past and how would I change them if I were there now. Only thing I can change - is now. Not past, not future. Now. And that is what I should really focus on. #past #future