vincent

[vincent @mintchocochip33]

my ocd making the rumination on every criticism so much worse & giving me the urge to defend myself against ppl that hate me & are committed 2 believing i hate everyone even my own community bc its easier 2 provoke an insane person esp when u can convince urself theyre evil

[vincent @mintchocochip33]

Your comment later in the post about being suicidal is really concerning to me and although it may be completely meaningless from me, please reach out if you want to.

[vincent @mintchocochip33]

It's always really sad to see trans people get stuck in the doomeristic way of thinking. I know we don't know each other, but I hope that you see other people's comments as proof that your anguish is clouding the reality of your situation. I hope you are kinder to yourself.

[vincent @mintchocochip33]

I also know a lot of people are really scared because if you feel doomed, how should we feel? but they're turning that fear into hatred or being unsympathetic to the fact that we don't choose to feel dysphoria or mental pain and that it makes us think and act irrationally.

[vincent @mintchocochip33]

@mohannad1789941

[vincent @mintchocochip33]

@mohannad1789941 I hope you get what you need. I hope interacting with this post helps boost your account to people who are able to help more.

[vincent @mintchocochip33]

if u do think i haven't received enough hate you can see all of the feedback i've received & other posts that help give context to who they are & that's not even all of it.

[vincent @mintchocochip33]

i keep reading all of the stuff ppl have sent to me online & i wonder how they could lie abt me or be so mean but then i remember that i'm not really a real person to them & just an enemy. i've looked thru so many hate things abt me and tried to figure out

[vincent @mintchocochip33]

the reasoning but it's probably just going to make me crazy & i'm wasting whatever's left of my life being upset abt this.

[vincent @mintchocochip33]

it's always there and i'll probably never escape or fully heal.

[vincent @mintchocochip33]

me except i'm not recovered, i just haven't relapsed again.

[vivi @mooncatvivi]

when your life is just recovering and relapsing and recovering and relapsing and relapsing and relapsing and relapsing and relapsing and recovering and relapsing

[vincent @mintchocochip33]

Death is closer to me than life.

[vincent @mintchocochip33]

I Saw the TV Glow broke my heart at least a little bit. I felt so hopeless.

[vincent @mintchocochip33]

I'm going to die never having truly lived.

[vincent @mintchocochip33]

ive lasted much longer than i thought i would and that must count for something.

[vincent @mintchocochip33]

i feel like i should just give up on living & kill myself bc its too hard to live like this. ive been tired for years. i need ppl to be ok with the idea of me dying bc if i just need to let go i cant have ppl relying on me being alive.

[vincent @mintchocochip33]

i have been and will take care of ppl the best way i can but i cant have ppl relying on me to take care of them. maybe i should start trying to find replacements & preparing in case.

[vincent @mintchocochip33]

She is also known as Cherry. I read an article where she said she spent her 20s as an idol and she achieved her dream of debuting and being an idol. That's really sweet.

[vincent @mintchocochip33]

I don't know anything about Ryujin, but congratulations to her for coming out.

[ryujin folder 🏳️‍⚧️ @ryujin_folder]

🍒 This isn’t a hobby this is just my life…
🍒 I’m trans

[vincent @mintchocochip33]

I looked her up and apparently she was part of a group called Jwiiver.