Miranda Edson

[Miranda Edson @mirandaedsonn]

My toxic trait is running into the grocery store for a few things and not grabbing a basket then realizing I need a basket but it’s too late and I’m struggling to carry everything I picked up

[Miranda Edson @mirandaedsonn]

@Brooke_Lin1 Lastly, so proud of you @Brooke_Lin1 for exploiting me and this interaction for clout I hope you feel like a star!

[Miranda Edson @mirandaedsonn]

@Brooke_Lin1 Hi this is me 🤪 which is actually insane that it’s made its way to here and has this much traction considering this was a private conversation but further just confirms this was in fact not the right match for me. I know my worth, am looking for something serious and not…

[Miranda Edson @mirandaedsonn]

@Brooke_Lin1 On top of that, this man is and was a stranger from a dating app so no, I will not be assuming the date is still on if there’s no confirmation the day of. There are still real risks and dangers women face everyday. That is all 😌

[Miranda Edson @mirandaedsonn]

@Brooke_Lin1 interested in playing games. Therefore even the very beginning stages of the process are incredibly cut throat. I have strong boundaries and none negotiable that I have no desire to budge on and it is unfortunate that they played out like this.

[Miranda Edson @mirandaedsonn]

@CrumblCookies 🫴🏼

[Miranda Edson @mirandaedsonn]

The craziest thing about looking at homes on Zillow is seeing where people chose to put their TVs—none of the placement makes sense.

[Miranda Edson @mirandaedsonn]

It’s been a while but I’m back to say whoever decided to slather noodles in Mayo and serve it cold; lemme kiss you on the mouth

[Miranda Edson @mirandaedsonn]

Night at the museum battle of the smithsonion is arguably one of the greatest films ever made

[Miranda Edson @mirandaedsonn]

My absolute favorite thing to do is troll men y’all are dumb as a species

[Miranda Edson @mirandaedsonn]

Seeking a sugar daddy who wants to buy me Harry styles tickets 😭

[Miranda Edson @mirandaedsonn]

I loathe the people who open packages on their beds like that is the most vile thing I can think of get that nasty ass box off the most sacred place of serenity you psycho I won’t even stop to watch your unboxing video bye

[Miranda Edson @mirandaedsonn]

How many times a day do you get put on email chains with people that you’ve hooked up with bc my answer is too many 🥴

[Miranda Edson @mirandaedsonn]

My favorite thing about me is that I take my retainer out in the middle of the night and have 0 recollection of it like bish what is the point how we gonna keep your choppers in excellent condition if you continue to act like this??

[Miranda Edson @mirandaedsonn]

Nobody’s ever in my dms asking me how I am 😭 they only wanna know the fit deets

[Miranda Edson @mirandaedsonn]

Anybody else wanna come out of the woodworks while I’m thriving and succeeding?! Nows ur chance bc everybody’s doin it! Apologies for how you’ve treated me are appreciated at this time but bbys I’m healed from alla that but loving this journey for all of you 😇

[Miranda Edson @mirandaedsonn]

The scariest place I’ve ever been in a Long Island bagel store truly doesn’t matter which one all of them are scary

[Miranda Edson @mirandaedsonn]

I dream of one day having the privilege of owning one of Taco Bell’s sour cream spackle guns

[chelsea cutler @chelseacutler]

forever never sounded good before i met you

[Miranda Edson @mirandaedsonn]

What I’ve gathered from all this covid bs is that not a single person learned anything from osmosis Jones. Shameful.

[Miranda Edson @mirandaedsonn]

I am quite literally convinced that I’ll be alone forever because nobody will take the time to truly get to know me to the fullest and love me the way I deserve and the next person to tell me it’ll happen when I least expect it gets a throat chop I don’t make the rules