MisfitMom

Just a single mom raising her kids, using humor and sarcasm as coping mechanisms. Write a lot, read a ton, rarely watch tv.

[MisfitMom @misfitmomdotcom]

@DeanP11 @Pink @PENamerica Slippery-slope thinking at its finest folks. Pay no mind.

[MisfitMom @misfitmomdotcom]

@DevinDonuts Probably Ends Making Dumb Ass Sentences

[MisfitMom @misfitmomdotcom]

@LadyClin @avenaim Ah, another writer.

[MisfitMom @misfitmomdotcom]

@avenaim People pay me to make stuff up for them

[MisfitMom @misfitmomdotcom]

@varindersingh24 Yup

[MisfitMom @misfitmomdotcom]

@Triathleteby40 Because the Jetsons sold us out. They lied. Forget the flying cars, give me the laundry machine that washes, dries, folds and repairs lost buttons and damaged seams.

[MisfitMom @misfitmomdotcom]

@tattooed_bee Cake

[MisfitMom @misfitmomdotcom]

@BunAndLeggings The struggle is real.

[MisfitMom @misfitmomdotcom]

@Prince_Madness1 @lezzimomof2 Exactly. ❤️

[MisfitMom @misfitmomdotcom]

@Triathleteby40 I work everyday to be present in my children’s lives - physically, mentally, and emotionally. I inevitably fail at one of these goals at some point each and every day.

[MisfitMom @misfitmomdotcom]

@YourBestNight3 Maybe? But, define *slept*. This is a very connotative term.

[MisfitMom @misfitmomdotcom]

@RyanDLeaf @NFL @NFLPA But I applaud you and your willingness to take on the @NFL greedy monster. Lives are worth more than profits, assholes. We see you.

[MisfitMom @misfitmomdotcom]

@RyanDLeaf @NFL @NFLPA Honesty. Integrity. Humanism.
I stopped following @NFL when I realized the damage repeated brain trauma was having on active and retired players. They did little more than offer a band aid to suffering families, or truly discourage youth from pursuing early brain trauma. #funfl

[MisfitMom @misfitmomdotcom]

@AnecdtlBrthCtrl Duh. How about have the 1 year old “draw” and “write” the card - then translate when they ask what it all means?
It means you’re an idiot, and my kid hopes you never have children. He’s 1, moron. How about I give you something that looks like food and watch as you choke on it?

[MisfitMom @misfitmomdotcom]

@realDonaldTrump You will go down on record for literally ruining our democracy.

[MisfitMom @misfitmomdotcom]

Most prominent wrapping memory?
Laughing and crying, slightly buzzed, with only 1/4 roll of tape for all the presents at 3am xmas eve. The presents were for my sister and me. I was 13. Here’s to doing better than your parents did! #onepieceoftapeisallyouneed

[MisfitMom @misfitmomdotcom]

Option #3:

Outside - a b&w photo of people celebrating new year’s eve 2020, the caption reads:

“2020 is going to be an awesome year! Things can only get better from here...”

Inside:
Yeah, we were wrong. Let’s not jinx it. Here’s to a generally okay-ish 2021.

[MisfitMom @misfitmomdotcom]

My current ideas for holiday/NY cards:
Outside - an empty frame where a photo should be. The caption:
What? You were expecting a happy photo or something? Get real. It’s 2020.

Inside:
You want a happy sentiment?
The year is almost over.
You’re welcome.
Best wishes for 2021!

[MisfitMom @misfitmomdotcom]

Option #2:

Outside-picture of a dumpster on fire,, caption reads:

I was going to send you a card before the end of 2020, but I couldn’t find the right words to express this year, so...

Inside:
Here’s to 2021!

[MisfitMom @misfitmomdotcom]

Sitting outside, freezing my ass off. I can’t feel my fingers or toes...
But I can see the stars.
It warms my heart.
It also helps me see that some things, while appearing to be no more than a burning, nuclear-level hot mess, are actually quite beautiful.