NotTheMisfits

gotta love swimmin cookies I want a Big Mac

[aIenka @ankyhaidy]

men will try to flirt with you by saying “you know toy” about toys they think are obscure and the whole time it’s ball

[alexis @miss_flawIess]

What happened was. We reached the moon.

[Mcdonald's#1 Wairror unarmed combat @TWOHANDEDSOWRD]

My favoiete thing to do is smile my second favorite to do is laugh

[Rusty 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 @ImSmilingRn]

My teeth were so badly destroyed when I died that they had to identify me from my ID, which was in my wallet

[faget83629031852 @faget9261530128]

putting koolaid powder in my ears and going to the dentist to get it checked out

[jake @wormpuller]

Chuck E. Chinese

[The Unahugger @ned_flaczynski]

I come from a long line of Homo sapiens, Homo hiedelbergensis, Homo erectus, and before that apes and rat-like creatures

[episode one @E1podcast]

Hey so, Abraham Lincoln was warned multiple times to get off of his phone

[Dr. R. J. Vein @VeinRichard]

I come from old monkey

[Bushposter @bushposter]

Type shit Mr. Squidward

[audrey @phlegmme]

Oh crap I lost my debit card. I think it’s either at the roller rink or the ice skating rink or the candy store or the ice cream parlor or the bubblegum factory

[trevy @chillextremist]

Happy birthday to you

[Mervin @holeliker]

ed edd and eddy has been off the air for some time now

[bb pp🌠 @polaroidbb]

and when puss cums to shove

[David Hughes @david8hughes]

The dog in Scooby-Doo pissed me off so much. Oh you’ll do it for a Scooby snack? How about you do it or we’ll have you put down

[charlie @BUNNlCULA]

lentil and rice dinner = gentle and nice winner

[rip chasedbywasps @chasedbywasps]

a neat little lifehack is to take a few paper towels and dampen them gently with faucet water. this way you'll have a few damp paper towels

[۟ @dronedoommetal]

My life has been different ever since the day that it changed