Misha

haters only

[Misha @mishayen]

A man trying to micromanage me at 6am: you can do it like this its faster
Me: no
Him: want me to show you
Me: no
Him: it's faster
Me: you can show me but I'm still gonna do it my way
Him: well want me to show you how to do this?
Me: no
Him: can you do it this way?
Me: no

[Misha @mishayen]

Just wondering how many songs out there have the word "ironic" used incorrectly and how that's just out there forever

[Misha @mishayen]

"No one's bullying you. We just don't like you. That's different." iconic

[Misha @mishayen]

The fact that y'all can all agree we hate a toxic man but there is an embarrassingly small amount of Stabler hate online says a lot about y'all

[Misha @mishayen]

If zoom offered a feature to kick people out of your meetings anonymously, I would pay for a lifetime subscription

[Misha @mishayen]

The irony of Henry accidentally chewing on an Advil tablet (that he didn't like the taste of and proceeded to spit out) that required me to take him to the vet and now I have to force-feed him pills for a pill that he didn't want in the first place

[Misha @mishayen]

I don't even know what to say except this is the most despicable and idiotic response you could ever contrive @realDonaldTrump

[Misha @mishayen]

When I asked John about where his truck was parked he said "no one's going to break into my car". The thought that someone could kidnap/attack him didn't even cross his mind

[Misha @mishayen]

You know men don't think about strategic parking bc I met up with John at a bar and I immediately started looking for a well lit spot as close as possible to the door. John's truck on the other hand was in the far back corner, possibly the furthest spot from the door.

[Misha @mishayen]

John slept in the living room last night bc I was at work he was too lazy to figure out how to unlock the bedroom door.........You love them but you also hate to love them

[Misha @mishayen]

Of course of all the square footage in this apartment I could have stepped in in the middle of the night, my heel went directly into the 3in x 2in that had Henry's poop

[Misha @mishayen]

It's so much easier to pretend to be nice with these masks on. I can just squint my eyes like I'm smiling instead of putting in the whole effort

[Misha @mishayen]

My work wife is my work wife bc as I was getting lectured by two Trump supporters she said w *the* most serious face/sweetest voice "I'm voting republican; they explained it to me." Then we turned the corner, she pulled her mask down, and mouthed "I'm still voting Democrat"

[Misha @mishayen]

I made a keto snack that makes me feel like a pregnant woman with weird cravings but I'm also kind of enjoying it

[Misha @mishayen]

@AnooshaAhmad @realDonaldTrump ❗️❗️❗️ seriously❗️❗️❗️

[Misha @mishayen]

Maybe no one ever told @realDonaldTrump what the role of a debate moderator is

[Misha @mishayen]

John: Do you want me to go inside?
Me: (suspicious of ulterior motive) No... why?? I’m gonna go
J: Okay... I’m just trying to be nice to you
Me: Oh aw sorry. No it’s okay I don’t mind. I know you feel lazy.
J: ...
....
...Actually I don’t wanna sit in the car with Henry whining

[Misha @mishayen]

@cookie_gremlin LOL

[Misha @mishayen]

@nathanhoang LOLLL yes you could

[Misha @mishayen]

The amount of people that I had to text to let them know good news makes me even more happy