when God gives you a no you can always try and force a yes anyway. but faith is walking away knowing that the no holds purpose. it takes strength to say “not my will but yours be done” but you’ll never regret listening to his voice over your own.
read your bible. pray. get filled up. when you aren’t filling yourself with the things of Christ you leave yourself empty and vulnerable to be filled by the things of this world.
Having questions and doubts about your faith doesn’t make you a bad Christian. It’s normal, and God isn’t scared of those things, he’s so much greater and will prove Himself over and over again if you seek Him.