miss squirrels

Teacher✏️, Mom 👸🏼, Wife 👰🏼, Blogger 💻, Crocheter ✨ Places to find me : B S

[miss squirrels @miss_squirrels]

@CDELightband Power out all around Dalton Smith. any word? Cause? Expectation of restoring today?

[miss squirrels @miss_squirrels]

@CDELightband
Any updates or expectations on restoration of power for the Dalton Smith area?

[miss squirrels @miss_squirrels]

Is it just me or could every new movie be about 30-40 mins shorter?

[miss squirrels @miss_squirrels]

I, __________________, solemnly swear to use every tube, bottle, travel size, and sample of beauty products from subscription boxes and impulse buys completely before I purchase any new ones.

(I am obviously lying, but it was worth a shot).

[miss squirrels @miss_squirrels]

Well, it is officially "CLOSE THAT $&#%@ DOOR! YOU’RE LETTING ALL THOSE $&#%@ FLIES IN" season.

[miss squirrels @miss_squirrels]

@catturd2 It doesn’t matter it was someone who wanted to hurt children and they did. They were able to get a hold of what they needed and they did. It doesn’t matter who they were. It changes every week. It doesn’t matter who it is. Everyone has to stop.

[miss squirrels @miss_squirrels]

@IBSteveBMe1 @ABC Not the answer

[miss squirrels @miss_squirrels]

Stores should require signed agreements from neighbors on both sides of a shopper before selling them wind chimes.

#wedidntaskforthis

[miss squirrels @miss_squirrels]

Me after every movie I watch :

It was good, but it could have been about 40 mins shorter.

[miss squirrels @miss_squirrels]

Lies I often tell myself :
1. I’m just going to watch one more episode before bed.
2. I won’t buy anymore candles until I’ve used what I have.
3. I’ll start eating healthy tomorrow.
4. I can get one more day out of this hair.
5. I’ll get gas in the morning.

[miss squirrels @miss_squirrels]

Happiness is leaving the paper from in between the cheese on his sandwich and knowing that you can aggravate him from 15 miles away.

[miss squirrels @miss_squirrels]

Bathing suit one size bigger than last year’s: $65

Comfort, peace of mind, and freedom to enjoy myself and play with my kids : Priceless

[miss squirrels @miss_squirrels]

Well, it is officially “CLOSE THAT $&#%@ DOOR! YOUR’RE LETTING ALL THOSE $&#%@ FLIES IN” season.

[miss squirrels @miss_squirrels]

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but we can’t zoom in on the words in your story and we’re already wearing glasses.

Please quit shrinking that shit.

[miss squirrels @miss_squirrels]

I apologize more to my dog daily than I have to all the humans I have ever known added up.

[miss squirrels @miss_squirrels]

“I didn’t call you because I didn’t know if you were busy” is the most asinine reason not to call someone.

[miss squirrels @miss_squirrels]

Things I lost during the pandemic:
⁃my sense of smell
⁃1/3 of my hair
⁃1/2 of my family
⁃1/4 of my friends
⁃tolerance for bullshit
Things I gained during the pandemic:
⁃a lingering wheeze
⁃some extra pounds
⁃boundaries
⁃perspective
⁃gratitude

[miss squirrels @miss_squirrels]

A bottle of conditioner should be twice the size of the shampoo and they should be the same price.

[miss squirrels @miss_squirrels]

After exercising the last few days, I noticed my pits were a little “extra”. I grabbed my deodorant today, thinking maybe it’s time for a change.

Y’all, I have been spraying
DRY SHAMPOO in my pits for at least a week.

Soooooo….yeah.

[miss squirrels @miss_squirrels]

I have two moods:
“I can’t wait for Christmas!” and
“I need to be by the ocean.”