Ally Parker

[Ally Parker @missallyparker]

Ryan tonight - “wow I’ve never owned flour before… it’s cool living with a girl, we have so many things.”

[Ally Parker @missallyparker]

I’m convinced anything can be fixed by getting a fun little fall drink

[Ally Parker @missallyparker]

Hot yoga is not for the weak. I need to lay still for approximately two business days ...

[Ally Parker @missallyparker]

being forced to do karaoke is actually my biggest fear

[Ally Parker @missallyparker]

If I ever question Ryan’s dedication and loyalty I just have to remind myself he’s been working on the same Clash of Clans base since 6th grade.

[trash jones @jzux]

do you think tickle me elmo ever prays to god to let him die

[Ally Parker @missallyparker]

Ryan and I play this game where he makes me guess what he got at the grocery store. And literally every time it’s just milk and hamburger helper.

[Ally Parker @missallyparker]

I could fr never date a woman. I know I’m crazy when I’m PMSing and I don’t know how my bf deals.

[jon drake @DrakeGatsby]

Lower Rihanna immediately before the government mistakes her for a spy balloon

[Ally Parker @missallyparker]

My personality is that I love a good craft.

[Ally Parker @missallyparker]

My kink is throwing things away.

[Ally Parker @missallyparker]

I would rather sit naked on a hot grill than take a bath in a hotel bathtub.

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Why is small talk even legal!?

[Ally Parker @missallyparker]

I don’t care if it makes me lame.. I’m a diehard Great British Baking Show fan. There I said it.

[Ally Parker @missallyparker]

A conversation with Emily:
Em- “everyday I start off saying I’m not going to eat a cookie…”
Me- “and?”
Em- “and then I eat eight.”

[Ally Parker @missallyparker]

I’m a slut for Hot Cheetos.

[Ally Parker @missallyparker]

My bf has gotten into coin collecting and European history. I guess the dad hobbies start at 22?#futuredilf

[Ally Parker @missallyparker]

It’s the little things. 🥰 #myman

[Ally Parker @missallyparker]

@maddsarch5 @tylerthecreator sheeeshhhh if I was going to be confused with a celebrity, I’m cool w it being @tylerthecreator