Eden Simone

So no one told you life was gonna be this way...

[Chris Hayes @chrislhayes]

You’re telling me I have to buckle my seatbelt even though I have airbags!!! Either the airbags work or the seatbelt works but it can’t be both!!!

[Georgia Hardstark @GHardstark]

No one tells you that when you get a puppy you start texting 💩 pics to your spouse to celebrate said 💩‘a improved structure. A warning would have been nice.

[Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez @AOC]

Free advice - if you are losing tens of thousands of followers the moment Twitter starts taking down Neo-Nazis and violent insurrectionists, maybe don’t advertise that!

Also maybe people are unfollowing you out disgust for your support of a coupist bc they care about our country

[Eden Simone @missedensimone]

Friendly reminder that just because you didn’t actually read the Terms of Service that you signed doesn’t mean the rules don’t apply to you. 🍑

[Bernie Sanders @BernieSanders]

Donald Trump will go down in history not just as a racist, sexist, xenophobe and religious bigot. He will be remembered as a demagogue who, more than anyone else, attempted to undermine the rule of law and destroy American democracy. He will not be missed.

[Eden Simone @missedensimone]

I just entered to win a @MyFavMurder-filled weekend in Santa Barbara 🌴Stay sexy and join me! https://t.co/vRh2fDk41a

[Eden Simone @missedensimone]

🦃🦃🦃🦃 @ Monrovia, California https://t.co/RqDyvqvIBS

[Eden Simone @missedensimone]

Please don’t go #RenewTheFosters

[Eden Simone @missedensimone]

The old Olivia can’t come to the phone right now. Why? Cuz she’s dead. #Scandal

[frank bullitt @the_blueprint]

really just spent two minutes like "why would you shame someone with tuna?"

[Samantha Ruddy @samlymatters]

If your coffee shop has a passive aggressive "no wifi pretend it's the old days" sign I'm gonna smoke in there & pay 50 cents for coffee.

[Eden Simone @missedensimone]

GoT finale AND Look What You Made Me Do video all in one evening?!? Consider me good for the week 🤗💕

[Eden Simone @missedensimone]

While y'all are prematurely diving into Halloween I'm over here deciding on what kind of Christmas tree I'll have this year.

[Eden Simone @missedensimone]

FedEx delivery woman: "here you go, sign your life away... that's how I feel when I come in everyday." 😳

[Eden Simone @missedensimone]

So glad I got to see my mommy on her birthday yesterday. 😘🎂🍾 https://t.co/eQVH7MfBai

[Eden Simone @missedensimone]

🐝 hive by my office! https://t.co/np0o0rUQ7B

[Matt Bellassai @MattBellassai]

someone who lives in my apartment tried steaming a shirt while he was wearing it and now he has burns on his chest and that someone is me

[Eden Simone @missedensimone]

Cheers bitches

[Eden Simone @missedensimone]

Just posted a photo @ Newport Beach, California https://t.co/dtK435XvUd

[Eden Simone @missedensimone]

🌿 https://t.co/SbuWDUWf6X