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You can trace a lot of people’s tendency to hold grudges or “keep malice” back to difficult childhoods. The ones that are constantly angry and give silent treatments too. Some people don’t even know what healthy conversations or repair looks like.
Tuff.
"I love my parents but..."
in this paper, I will explore the painful dichotomy of loving an abusive parent. The personal, agonizing clash between the hardwired attachment to the person who gave you life & the undeniable reality of the harm they inflicted in the name of discipline
Some of you living abroad who send your child to Nigeria for 'training' dnt understand the damage you are doing to them.
If a country is not good enough for you to live in, why do you think it is the best place for your child? Why expose your child to the same environment that gave you severe PTSD??
There’re no moral values/discipline left to emulate in Nigeria, what remains is moral decadence, decline in values, & insecurity. You are putting your child’s life & mental health at risk.
It’s better to raise your children yourself. If you don't have the time, pls dnt have a child.
scrolled through that thread and i realized over 70% of replies are from first daughters 💔.
i really do pray for healing to daughters who has faced this trauma from their mother 🤍.
Due to me living life day to day and always wanting to forget what happened the previous day, it affected in my studies as well and my daily life too, can't remember things, gets carried away, became a physco, talking to myself, can't focus for long, prefers loneliness
I didn’t turn out fine at all. I became withdrawn. I grew impatient and constantly irritated. Agonizingly suicidal. Needing to be counseled for “not communicating”.
Character may seemingly come of a childhood that scars you but the price, I’m afraid, is too high to pay.
And this is why I will always say that not everyone deserves to bring a child into this World
If you know in the mind of your mind that you’re not fit to raise kids in a loving,disciplined and respectful manner,just don’t involve yourself
Let that crazy cycle end with you.
societal duty tbh
i don’t think many of them knew having kids was something they needed to emotionally and mentally prepare for. the pipeline of life they knew was grow up - go to school - graduate - get married - have kids
it was more or less predefined, regardless of if they were ready or not
until you can empathise with a woman on the basis of her humanity, and not her proximity (imagine if that was your mum, sister, daughter etc), you still have work to do tbh
Our language around governance is so interesting in Nigeria. We talk like when someone wins an election, the money and resources of the state become their personal largesse and any progress or work that happens is because they’re kind enough to “dash” us.
It must be nice being a man because no matter how mediocre, unremarkable or directionless you are, there’s comfort in knowing someone has been socialized to look at you like a leader.