Missy

Wifey. Mommy. Awkward. Pretend celebrity best friend.

[Missy @missy_rants]

Free tickets from SLC to Disneyland! Send me to Disneyland Flights From Home. https://t.co/QkTklCbdLb

[Missy @missy_rants]

Hey @Disney_DMR
thanks for remembering my anniversary but you’ve got a big error where my login info should go. That is NOT my username. #offensive @Disney #disney

[T-Mobile @TMobile]

Join our early #EarthDay celebration this #TMobileTuesdays:

For every tweet today using #TreeMobile, we’ll donate a 🌳 to @Nature_org’s #PlantABillionTrees campaign. RT and help make a difference now!

[Missy @missy_rants]

Join Ibotta, the free app that pays you cash. Sign up and get $10! https://t.co/5Cq8aZ1ofC https://t.co/5Cq8aZ1ofC

[Missy @missy_rants]

Raise your hand if you feel personally victimized by your toddler. -raises both hands- #toddlermom

[Missy @missy_rants]

With all these subscription services why has no one created a Diet Coke and M&Ms subscription? With daily delivery. Or like 3 times daily.

[Missy @missy_rants]

Want $20 to try a new restaurant in Utah? Follow the link! https://t.co/vzJdjAXnfP

[Missy @missy_rants]

Hey cool guy, if your pants are more bedazzled than mine you may want to start over. #jeansnotchandeliers #deadpool

[Missy @missy_rants]

I'm convinced that peanut M&Ms are the most nutritionally sound food. Dairy. Protein. And it's crunchy like fresh fruit and veggies.

[Missy @missy_rants]

So husband is at work negotiating contracts with vendors and what not and I was high fiving myself for being dressed by 10. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Missy @missy_rants]

It's only a cooking fail if it ends up on the internet right? #ranoutofflour #probablyfine

[Missy @missy_rants]

Some people my age are wealthy fashion bloggers. I wear stretchy pants while eating mnms out of Costco sized bags. #lifegoals

[Missy @missy_rants]

Ummm $100 dollar boots are a basic human right that I should not have to pay for. #honestly #gimmegimme

[Missy @missy_rants]

I refuse to believe that eating the rest of my toddlers food and or snacks contains calories. #freebies #momlife

[Missy @missy_rants]

Don't worry about me. I've already had 32 oz of Diet Coke and finished my secret freezer chocolate. It's 11am. #momlife

[Missy @missy_rants]

Wiped something off the toddlers face with my finger then without thinking licked it. Please let it be pancake. #momlife #toddlermom

[Missy @missy_rants]

Tired mom tip: if you choose to wear makeup- wear waterproof mascara in case of emergency meltdown. #prepared #sotired #momlife

[Missy @missy_rants]

Mama dilemma of the day: littles are napping do I nap, eat or shower? #toddlermom #newbaby #momlife #smellyhungrytired

[Missy @missy_rants]

I can't wrap my head around the fact that people without kids get to sleep in. Like is it amazing? Are there unicorns and rainbows?! #sleepy

[Missy @missy_rants]

Trying to feed the baby, make dinner and stay hydrated. What does this mean? I'm soaked with my fresh glass of ice water. #momlife