Nicole

it’s fun being crazy

[Nicole @misszoloft]

Fernando Mendoza is set to host SNL with Charli XCX as the musical guest

[Nicole @misszoloft]

Kerri Strug broke her ankle at the Olympics at age 19 for the United States of America at that age I was recovering from a Kpop obsession

[Nicole @misszoloft]

Girls only want one thing and it’s fucking disgusting

[Nicole @misszoloft]

Whoever the fuck just cracked open a slim Jim before we even have the in flight announcements ROT IN HELL

[Nicole @misszoloft]

Said person is not even poly themselves why are they spreading the polyamorous agenda for free

[Nicole @misszoloft]

I was talking to my coworker and I was like “yeah I’m really bad at dating” and they were like “hmm maybe you should try being polyamorous” were you even listening at all???

[Nicole @misszoloft]

@cam_eltoe It was en route to be huge bitches just weren’t ready

[Nicole @misszoloft]

Just pet a Dalmatian…aka reached nirvana

[Nicole @misszoloft]

You’re in his dm’s, my podcast is in his Spotify wrapped. WE ARE NOT THE SAME!!!

[Nicole @misszoloft]

If ur ever feel down in the dumps and want a lil male attention go to auto zone for 5 minutes those cashiers are down bad

[Nicole @misszoloft]

I think one of my ex’s therapists is keeping us apart

[Nicole @misszoloft]

I don’t think about Antarctica as much as I should tbh I be forgetting about it

[Nicole @misszoloft]

One of the most unexpected things a college athlete can do is WALK to their classes on campus but no they always gotta be on one those doohickeys

[Nicole @misszoloft]

“He’s at his grandma’s”
“Ew get rid of her”

[Nicole @misszoloft]

When is target gonna start selling weed

[Nicole @misszoloft]

If you can’t remember a man’s name it is most likely “Anthony” and if you call them that and it’s not tbh they will most likely not be offended no harm done

[Nicole @misszoloft]

If he’s telling me a story about him and his friends it better fail the Bechdel test hard I don’t want a single woman mentioned

[Nicole @misszoloft]

“They’re not here to defend themselves” yeah bro that’s the entire point it’s called talking behind people’s backs

[Nicole @misszoloft]

If I grew up in the 1400’s I coulda discovered math