misterdirk

#EmbraceTheAbsurd. Dirk is a writer, satirist, social observer, truth police, brain-for-hire & marketing czar. Find his blog at

[misterdirk @misterdirk]

@MonroInc @tirechoice you need to reimburse me $817.80 for damaging my car. Unconscionable that Ponton, Naylor, Rudd, rep x3355 & Miami DM haven't responded. Maybe @FTIConsulting will talk sense into you if you actually care about your customers.

[misterdirk @misterdirk]

@JeffBezos Open labs+dentists, replace permanent teeth for low-income. Missing teeth kill job opps + social shame + eating problems. Big direct impact!

[misterdirk @misterdirk]

My little angel https://t.co/5qFZCpBQbQ

[misterdirk @misterdirk]

I have some stuff for sale that I need GONE THIS WEEK. 4 DWR 18" dining chairs. 1 DWR Spanna… https://t.co/rVNpXBTKqX

[misterdirk @misterdirk]

Window creepin! @ Sushi Samba Miami Beach https://t.co/FayIg50RCL

[misterdirk @misterdirk]

SAMBA DROMO roll with lobster, mango and peanut curry sauce ufffffft @ Sushi Samba Miami Beach https://t.co/vTUyTS0nns

[misterdirk @misterdirk]

A very special thanks to VOSS for sending me over some new sparkling flavors - Tangerine… https://t.co/w23JyA5edh

[misterdirk @misterdirk]

Oh hi https://t.co/ruQcQCcE6R

[misterdirk @misterdirk]

@coyotacowynwood COYO TACO = there's a reason there's a line out the door https://t.co/Hx20qyeXRN

[misterdirk @misterdirk]

Izzy's has incredible raw bar platters and a super Happy Hour and that's a fact !!!! @ Izzy's… https://t.co/sFdPU1F8fl

[misterdirk @misterdirk]

The Varmint™ got a new dress https://t.co/5cZ5Bt3SR7

[misterdirk @misterdirk]

A gold chair with giant fuzzy cushions https://t.co/jNqGidbG4D

[misterdirk @misterdirk]

When The Weasel™ offers you sketti, YOU EAT THE SKETTI https://t.co/HIG5vli4Pg

[misterdirk @misterdirk]

My latest for aventuramagazine features riveryachtclub and their fantastic seasonal menu program… https://t.co/zJzKdOYhrA

[misterdirk @misterdirk]

The Varmint™ at daybreak https://t.co/W8fKmgvbk8

[misterdirk @misterdirk]

On our way to Cheryl and Dustin's engagement party at an undisclosed location https://t.co/8Ke021TQ1p

[misterdirk @misterdirk]

The rather preposterous post-sunset last night https://t.co/YAYXCXGsui

[misterdirk @misterdirk]

Oh hi https://t.co/MwpFeNWIty

[misterdirk @misterdirk]

The Critter™, bound only by the ocean itself, unfettered https://t.co/hkG6kN5SM2

[misterdirk @misterdirk]

Back in black. And a purple sippy cup. #3milesofdoom @ Venetian Causeway https://t.co/xD3nA222ns