James Jefferson

Instagram: Mr.JamesJefferson

[James Jefferson @MisterJamesJ]

Unfortunately, I do love winning things I absolutely do not need.🐻🦄🍭🏆

[Ron Iver @ronnui_]

Friend: Oh man don't those feel so good?

Me, weeping in unfathomable pain: Yeah dude, it's just like a massage.

[Queens of Bravo @queensofbravo]

I

⚪️ am gay
⚪️ am straight
🔘 know what you’re doing. Don’t do this. Stop it. I know what you’re doing. I don’t give a flying f**k about a jacket. #RHOBH

[Adam @adamgreattweet]

them: any weekend plans?

me:

[trash jones @jzux]

hey can i come over and make you a little worried about me

[James Jefferson @MisterJamesJ]

#NewProfilePic

[Adam @adamgreattweet]

them: how’s your year going

me:

[James Jefferson @MisterJamesJ]

@SandraKiss1053 @GoldenKnights 🤭🥥🥥

https://t.co/nMAGxdbFbZ

[charles entertainment cheese @jmurffff]

she's just like me fr

[Noah Garfinkel @NoahGarfinkel]

Bringing your dad both screwdrivers because you don’t know what he’s talking about.

[Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau]

Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about. Except for me.
I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.

[jon drake @DrakeGatsby]

I’m aging like a fine wine (on my side in a dark room)

[NurseBrianRN @rn_murse]

i’m reaching the Ann Taylor Loft phase of my life

[Jono @whoinvitedjon]

How long can I get away with telling people "I'm not at my best" before they figure out that this is in fact, my best

[your other mom @difficultpatty]

Me: Want some trail mix?

Him: That’s just peanut butter m&m’s and some ibuprofen.

Me: It’s homemade.

[sam greisman @SAMGREIS]

“Use code GOOP for 15 percent off”