Mitchell™

better in a gutter than on a pedestal

[Mitchell™ @Mitchell_Morris]

Hey @elonmusk while you’re handing out jobs at Twitter, y’all need any photographers? Or bartenders? I have a resume.

[Jeff is Tall @JeffisTallguy]

Somebody once told me to read the first word of my last 450 tweets. Oh god it's been over a year

[altpress @AltPress]

“people are allowed to dislike things” WRONG. nobody is allowed to dislike the entire discography of american rock trio, paramore.

[Mitchell™ @Mitchell_Morris]

@TuTiaVioleta sometimes you just gotta ask yourself “hey where are my shoes”

[Mitchell™ @Mitchell_Morris]

*tap tap* is this thing on?

[Mitchell™ @Mitchell_Morris]

Don’t forget to vote!

[Mitchell™ @Mitchell_Morris]

If you tell your bartender “hey in 15 minutes I’ll want another”, that does not count as a drink order.

[Mitchell™ @Mitchell_Morris]

“bro look at that vintage iPhone. it’s got the long charging thing” #coffeebeforenoon

[Mitchell™ @Mitchell_Morris]

@ShelbyMerry I’m feeling “Vanya” but that may just be because I love Umbrella Academy

[Mitchell™ @Mitchell_Morris]

@jettybones I didn’t know I needed this but I did so much.

[Mitchell™ @Mitchell_Morris]

Hey @elonmusk what’s your Venmo? Asking for a friend.

[Beytwicé @lotoysrus]

Why y’all keep asking where the police at? Y’all ask where Miley’s at when Hannah’s on stage?

[Mitchell™ @Mitchell_Morris]

@michiganderband Detroitigander

[Mitchell™ @Mitchell_Morris]

showed this to someone and they said “is that from @badboychadhoy?” and it’s the best compliment I’ve ever gotten probably

[Mitchell™ @Mitchell_Morris]

🎶 You better watch out
You better not cry
You better not pout, I’m telling you why
It’s a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah 🎶

[Mitchell™ @Mitchell_Morris]

@EddieBobbitt @politicususa

[Mitchell™ @Mitchell_Morris]

@LavenousCAM2 Proud of u

[Mitchell™ @Mitchell_Morris]

@amstutsman yooo if there is a signup list to read the thing, sign me up!

[Mitchell™ @Mitchell_Morris]

@Chasehuglin sign me up, zaddy

[Mitchell™ @Mitchell_Morris]

@ShelbyMerry “look, if you find anything, I’ll split it with you okay”