Not too satisfied with this SFX. Idk why I was procrastinating this project, even though it really wasn’t that bad and the cleanup was easy. I put a blue line (vein) in the middle one but u can’t rlly see it anymore lol
Shtwt
Painting can help a lot with sh urges honestly, haven’t found anything else that works this well :D
(This is watercolor with a lil bit of pencil crayon for those wondering)
#shtwt#988twt#beanstwt#sliceytwt#5htwt
reconsidering recovery
this dumb ass addiction had taken 8 years of my life, started when i was 9, and now im almost 17, thats damn near half of my life wasted just for nothing
I feel so sick and hopeless, I only want to cry thinking of her, I wish I could become not-myself, I wish I could see her and hold her forever, but I can't hold her (back). That’s too many wishes for someone who doesn’t deserve any.
#when that fp idealisation hits
She doesn't want me, doesn't want me, doesn't want me. I lie down and don't want to get back up. There is no substance, no wish that brings closer, she'll continue to do that until her heart calms and my heart bursts. I need her back, for reasons selfish and not.
Am I capable of loving her for her? Do I want to get cradled so that I'm forever a miserable, wounded being, with her by my side who absorbs the misery and doesn't overflow back, like a river, border, there is a line, she doesn't want me nor does she want to prolong the time.