Miranda

my pals call me Mir or Murdock

[brent @murrman5]

yogurts should come in a five pack not four pack or make the work week four days

[s*d @06fordexplorer]

can’t do the teenage dirtbag tiktok trend i did the morning announcements

[Miranda @mjacobs1229]

@logan__radke Weekend trip to Whitehall MI?

[Chris Jansing @ChrisJansing]

A lot of powerful men, including a military leader, are apparently afraid to do what Cassidy Hutchinson just did

[Graydon Gordian @MrGordian]

Roe. Miranda. Gun control. Church and State. All dismantled in a single week. The single worst week for civil rights and liberties in decades.

[Ben Wexler @mrbenwexler]

Who could’ve predicted Brett Kavanaugh doing something that’s good for rapists and bad for women

[Miranda @mjacobs1229]

@samilizbeth8 @NoahKahan Hi! I am looking for a ticket to tomorrows show if you still have one available?

[Miranda @mjacobs1229]

@sophiecleggg @NoahKahan Hi, I was just wondering if this is still available?

[Ben @benhasthoughts]

Hardest jobs in the universe:

1: Brain surgeon
2: Aerospace engineer
3: Teaching someone to play euchre for the first time

[Dr. Ashley N Edes @DrAshleyEdes]

I’m in this photo and I don’t like it. 🤦‍♀️

[University of Utah @UUtah]

Air pollution costs Utah’s economy ~$1.9 billion annually. And it shortens the life of the average Utahn by ~2 years.

Such are the findings from a study by researchers across the state, including the University of Utah.

📰 https://t.co/mYELvPq9cL

[Miranda @mjacobs1229]

I’ve never related to a thread more in my entire life

[court @uspellCoUrTNey]

People who are not morning people, how do you get up right after your alarm and be productive right away in the mornings?

Morning people need not apply I don’t need to hear your rainbow opinion about how beautiful and serene the morning is or whatever the fuck

[Miranda @mjacobs1229]

Not me accidentally pitching a weed stock at work

[Han @hannermoulder12]

Hahahahaha fuck

[Jill McCluskey @jjmccluskey]

I have 3 questions for @SimGillDA
1. Did you read the full DPS report?
2. Are you afraid to prosecute police officers?
3. Do you understand the harm to me as Lauren's representative & to women who won't report to police because they can share private evidence w/o consequences?

[Matt Bellassai @MattBellassai]

if you’re missing the debate, you can recreate it on your own by putting a fork and a fistful of rocks in the garbage disposal

[Miranda @mjacobs1229]

We don’t have any food in our house right now so my whole family is standing around in the kitchen eating olives and veggie straws for dinner

[Midwest vs. The Rest @midwestern_ope]

The Midwest Taught Me:

1. How to smell a storm
2. Dress in layers
3. Experiencing four seasons in an hour
4. How to drive in the snow
5. Olympic level Cornhole skill
6. To tie something down to the point “it’s not going anywhere”
7. Less than a 16 hour drive? don’t fly

[Miranda @mjacobs1229]

@smilinggetsmeby My grandma and her husband live in a duplex, and they each have their own side. They spend a lot of time together but have the space they need/want to explore their own interests. Goals tbh.

[hubert plant emoji @postedinthecrib]

if i gotta parallel park do not invite me