maria johrendt

[maria johrendt @mjohrendt]

5 years being a homeowner 🎉

[Michelle Obama @MichelleObama]

Betty White broke barriers, defied expectations, served her country, and pushed us all to laugh. Barack and I join so many around the world who will miss the joy she brought to the world. I know our Bo is looking forward to seeing her up in heaven.

[Ahmed Ali @DrAhmednurAli]

This clip of Betty White with Ryan Reynolds lives rent free in my head.

[maria johrendt @mjohrendt]

I’m so fucking shook about Betty Whites death 2022 isn’t even happening

[maria johrendt @mjohrendt]

Test your fire alarms so they don’t end up testing themselves at 5:30 am

[maria johrendt @mjohrendt]

This morning I woke up in a panic, shit I missed the bus! That’s fine I’ll just drive to school.
Never mind the fact it’s summer and I’ve been out of highschool for over 7 years.

[maria johrendt @mjohrendt]

💉✅💉✅

[maria johrendt @mjohrendt]

When you open a project on the day it’s due and the first sentence is “start this right away, do not leave until last minute”

[sarah lugor! @sarahlugor]

i like being single but i also wish i had someone to kiss me on the forehead and say i love u once in a while

[wild milk @_wildmilk]

lmaooo this was a legitimate email my sister sent to a college professor when she forgot to submit a paper whilst drunk at a darty. like can you imagine reading this with sober eyes????

[maria johrendt @mjohrendt]

When a local business challenges your store to a sign war... #itsON #smalltownperks

[all i want for xmas is youltralaser @seandehey]

samwise gamgee just came over to frodo's house to get high, and possibly laid, and instead ends up havimg to go.on a thousand mile hike and fight everyone in the entire world

[Dan_GT2 @Dan_GT2]

If there are provinces in Canada with the same Prime Minister but handling the pandemic effectively and keeping their numbers under control, maybe it’s not the Prime Minister’s fault.

[Barack Obama @BarackObama]

Through his extraordinary example, His Royal Highness Prince Philip proved that true partnership has room for both ambition and selflessness — all in service of something greater. Our thoughts are with Her Majesty the Queen, the Royal Family, and the British people.

[JFK Library Foundation @JFKLibraryFdn]

President and Mrs. Kennedy visited Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip on their trip to London in June 1961.

More on their trip: https://t.co/SVVwhZrLj1

[Greta Thunberg @GretaThunberg]

See you all at the next climate strike:)

[maria johrendt @mjohrendt]

Ice does NOT help the uncoordinated

[maria johrendt @mjohrendt]

Feels like a scam that the directions on my One a Day gummies are “chew two gummies daily”