Israelmerica First

March on MAGAstapo and keep serving Zionism as your Dear Leader cooks #666DChess
(check out my hilarious, interesting and fun #MAGAcomedy #slopaganda #copecast)

[Israelmerica First @mjones206]

Turns out it's the American experiment's 250th birthday where the rubber meets the road and we find out if the intestinal fortitude she showed in 1776 persists, or if tyranny wins

[Israelmerica First @mjones206]

MAGA comedy motto: what happens in the closet of the Mothership green room stays in the closet of the Mothership green room

[Israelmerica First @mjones206]

Does being obsessed with well-endowed muscular men mean you're sexually attracted to men? Asking for a friend. We'll call him Joe

[Israelmerica First @mjones206]

I'm old enough to remember when comedians weren't bootlickers

[Israelmerica First @mjones206]

The Great American State Fair should've had dirt bike ramps and a bouncy castle like they did at Droopy Donnie's 80th birthday party

[Israelmerica First @mjones206]

How sad is it to see Ari "look at me I'm in the cool clique" Shaffir making rounds on the podcast circuit so he can do damage control for Joe Scrotum-dome

[Israelmerica First @mjones206]

Scrawny Cliffbranch showed up to do his usual Vincent Price impression on tonight's @StoryWarz which was recorded before his Netflix special dropped a month ago

He bragged about it here but did hours of Joe Scrotum-dome's copecast well after its release and never mentioned it 😆

[Israelmerica First @mjones206]

If you listen carefully you can still hear MAGA pawns celebrating their "victories" on the gold-plated sinking ship they sacrificed their futures to board

[Israelmerica First @mjones206]

Hey @joerogan, have you ever thought about starting your own cigar brand? You could call them I dunno, "Joe's Premium Hogs" or something

[Israelmerica First @mjones206]

It's another late night in the Comedy Mothership green room -- just the guys, smoking cigars and talking about "hogs" again

[Israelmerica First @mjones206]

Funny, I spend so much less time on here since Elon "world's greatest trillionaire gamer bro" Musk took over and disappeared me from the world, yet I tweet so much more now

[Israelmerica First @mjones206]

Remember when the far-right crazies pretended to oppose authoritarianism for a few years? That was pretty wild

[Israelmerica First @mjones206]

Speaker of the House Mike Johnson is more amusing than MAGA comedians when he does his ludicrous little McCarthy and Costello routine

[Israelmerica First @mjones206]

MAGA sickos: "facts don't care about your feelings"

Also MAGA sickos: "Mamdani is so creepy bro, he makes me feel all yucky and stuff"

[Israelmerica First @mjones206]

Update: the far-right remains a collective victim of anything and everything in society that makes them feel uncomfortable

[Israelmerica First @mjones206]

Isn't it strange how the people who claim to love America the mostest either knowingly or unknowingly despise the US Constitution

[Israelmerica First @mjones206]

MAGA comedy motto: what happens in the closet of the Mothership green room stays in the closet of the Mothership green room

[Israelmerica First @mjones206]

Something tells me peptides aren't the only fluids Joe Scrotum-dome shares with Scrawny Cliffbranch in the Comedy Mothership green room when they're coping about their jealous haters all night

[Israelmerica First @mjones206]

I noticed though that where I sprayed mosquito repellent on my arms there wasn't any demon pinches

That can only mean one thing: mosquito repellent also works on demons
@TuckerCarlson

[Israelmerica First @mjones206]

I went camping this past weekend and woke up one morning with my face itching. Then I noticed I was covered in these itchy little bumps all over my skin

That's when I realized I'd been visited by demons in the night

[Israelmerica First @mjones206]

McCarthy is giving the MAGA fascists currently in power two thumbs up from Hell as they scream about a communist takeover on Fox Nation

[Israelmerica First @mjones206]

MAGA sickos: "facts don't care about your feelings"

Also MAGA sickos: "Mamdani is so creepy bro, he makes me feel all yucky and stuff"