Matthew Jonson

Regular American middle-aged white guy. Please don't judge.

[Matthew Jonson @mjonson2468]

@OfficialCocolov 300 cocks . . . in a row?

[Matthew Jonson @mjonson2468]

@OfficialCocolov How about @luluchuofficial ????

[Matthew Jonson @mjonson2468]

@islawildx Yes please!!!!

[Matthew Jonson @mjonson2468]

@demihawks1 Yup, sometimes if enough pressure builds up you just burst involuntarily all over the place, even if you don't want to.

[Matthew Jonson @mjonson2468]

@OfficialCocolov You're literally trying to make us think you are the perfect woman. 😂

[Matthew Jonson @mjonson2468]

@threadreaderapp unroll

[No filter Skin @NoFilterSkin]

Married couples don’t need another dinner and Netflix date night.

You need something that makes you feel like people again, not just two tired roommates coordinating snacks, bedtime and the dishwasher.

Here are 40 date ideas for couples who want to actually reconnect:

[No filter Skin @NoFilterSkin]

Married couples don’t need another dinner and Netflix date night.

You need something that makes you feel like people again, not just two tired roommates coordinating snacks, bedtime and the dishwasher.

Here are 40 date ideas for couples who want to actually reconnect:

[swamp hag ✨☕️🌸🍓🍰 @potatoslav]

this morning i was cutting some tape to fix my window cover and accidentally dropped my scissors behind my bookshelf. couldn’t reach it. looked from above and the hand loops were just out of reach. considered just buying new scissors. then looked over and saw the little American flag i keep in my living room and the pole looked just long enough to reach it. it was. managed to slide them out with it. problem solved. there’s a metaphor here.

[Matthew Jonson @mjonson2468]

@potatoslav Jersey girl 👍

[Matthew Jonson @mjonson2468]

@excogi We need a threesome with Carly, Tyler, and @lioravan3 !

[Matthew Jonson @mjonson2468]

@lioravan3 @glazed_faces Is there like special pornstar training to cross your eyes like that? :p

[Matthew Jonson @mjonson2468]

@MochimonaXXX So um . . . . . how does one do that? :p

[Matthew Jonson @mjonson2468]

@lanatheviolet Or just reckless bravery! :p

[Matthew Jonson @mjonson2468]

@YGingersnatch Different but just as hot!

[Matthew Jonson @mjonson2468]

@YGingersnatch Oh please say you two are filming together!

[Matthew Jonson @mjonson2468]

@lilibetsaunders Oh hell no. A little skinnier, sure. But no need for a curvy hottie like you to go anorexic thin.

[Matthew Jonson @mjonson2468]

@JadeBlairxox I didn't for a significant chunk of my life, even when Magnum condoms were the most comfortable. I watched porn and figured I was just average at best.

[Matthew Jonson @mjonson2468]

@SummerSirenNJ So how tall are you, anyway? 😍😍

[Matthew Jonson @mjonson2468]

@demihawks1

[Matthew Jonson @mjonson2468]

@Sarahsphere34 All of the above :-)