smorgs

please leave me alone

[smorgs @mkdobbs]

Chipotle has to be eaten with a Chipotle fork

[smorgs @mkdobbs]

Why were we so obsessed with fruit water in like 2013

[smorgs @mkdobbs]

Getting up off the couch and going to bed is genuinely the hardest part of my day

[smorgs @mkdobbs]

My toxic trait is thinking I could renovate a fixer upper with absolutely zero previous experience or knowledge

[Dona Juanita @MafiosoRo]

i miss when u could touch a tv and feel its fur

[smorgs @mkdobbs]

Are we surprised

[Daily Loud @DailyLoud]

UPDATE: Former President Bill Clinton is one of the names mentioned in Jeffrey Epstein documents.

Bill Clinton identified as “John Doe 36” is mentioned at least 50 times in Epstein Documents.

[smorgs @mkdobbs]

I have urgent emails I refuse to answer until the new year

[ten second cam @camilli_amilli]

three wise men? three? be serious

[Teminator @duchesskk]

“I’m just following up on …..”

helllooo? , mary & joseph have already started their journey from Nazareth. her water will break any time from now. circle back in the new year.

[smorgs @mkdobbs]

I didn’t have the fall of the great dynasty of Starbucks on my bingo card for 2023

[Kristi Yamaguccimane @TheWapplehouse]

This is the modern day equivalent of a Roman emperor playing with the lives of plebeians like a cat batting a toy to the roar of the crowd

[Arunima @HeyArunima]

@Historiographos 20 years ago was 1980s.

I said what I said.

[smorgs @mkdobbs]

Kevin McAllister has to have some serious childhood trauma

[smorgs @mkdobbs]

Her Siri, I don’t like my #SpotifyWrapped how can I change it

[smorgs @mkdobbs]

I don’t trust people who don’t eat their pizza crust

[smorgs @mkdobbs]

The Zara website gives me headaches

[smorgs @mkdobbs]

Why are people so comfortable driving UNDER the speed limit 😭

[smorgs @mkdobbs]

When your back up camera stops working so you have to use your mirrors the old-fashioned way

[smorgs @mkdobbs]

I am constantly telling women in the workplace “no need to apologize!” And I mean that. Most sternly.