MK

[MK @mkvigg]

hey I’m back. Sry about the crypto.✌🏼

[MK @mkvigg]

My brain does not possess the ability to differentiate between Timothée Chalamet and Tom Holland. A sure sign I’m approaching my 30s.

[MK @mkvigg]

I imagine a NBA ref explaining a clear foul to a player is a lot like how I feel when fighting with my bf about something I’m right about

[MK @mkvigg]

You know you’re old when the girl you drunkenly befriended at the bar this weekend connects with you on LinkedIn instead of following you on Insta.

[MK @mkvigg]

Not me crying at the halftime show at a party full of strangers

[MK @mkvigg]

Being an adult sucks. I have to pretend to enjoy dark tv like squid game, euphoria, and ozark, when all I wanna do is watch Encanto on repeat.

[MK @mkvigg]

My dad at 10am: There’s no way we’re watching this vanderpump rules marathon all day.
11am: Her NAME is LALA?
5pm: Are Raquel and James still together right now? No? Ok, good.

[MK @mkvigg]

My drunk texts at age 24: gj jjhjk hikog? lol
My drunk texts at 27: Yo, you ever seen Casablanca???

[MK @mkvigg]

@JustinGuarini if Philly has their thanksgiving day parade this year, will you be there????

[MK @mkvigg]

“I’m on a diet this week so can you just bring over a family sized bag of SkinnyPop for me to eat alone? Thanks sm” -an actual text I almost just sent but then decided I’ll buy my own damn skinny pop

[MK @mkvigg]

I think my life just peaked when my mom witnessed Claire rap every word to Forgot About Dre

[MK @mkvigg]

Me the past week refusing to listen to star-crossed: not a kacey musgraves
Me crying in bed at 11:30pm listening to star-crossed: “🎶..THEN IM MORE THAN JUST A LITTLE JUSTIFIED” tell em, kacey

[MK @mkvigg]

But like how is keke palmer getting invited to the met gala, jw

[MK @mkvigg]

I just texted every single person I made plans with this weekend to see if they would make an excuse to cancel, or force me too. And let me tell ya, my weekend has rapidly cleared up and I feel LIBERATED. Catch me sippin cocktails at Pete’s Sake all weekend long

[MK @mkvigg]

Every single person in New York today posting on Instagram: “calm before the storm!!!!!!!”

[MK @mkvigg]

The most productive thing I’ve done at work this week is reporting phishing emails.

[MK @mkvigg]

I wish I knew how to tiktok so I could make one of those videos that’s like “things I’m sick of hearing: is you’re last name Ashley?; Do you have a sister named Ashley?”
……no

[MK @mkvigg]

A simple way to identify an unvaxxed person is if they’re riding their bike on the sidewalk directly next to a bike lane

[MK @mkvigg]

Been begging my dog to cuddle with me all day but she refused until I drunkenly FaceTime boyfriend at 1am and she’s suddenly attached to me bc she low key hates him and the sound of his voice. [[same]]. that’s all.

[MK @mkvigg]

Observation: people that are overly enthusiastic about the scoring system in cornhole are useless in every other aspect of life