Lt. Lowe

Top of his class, Valedictorian of the academy and the youngest lieutenant in Canterlot history, once competent and courageous, now gruff and ill-tempered.

[Lt. Lowe @mlp_Lowe]

'Prisoners are we on a rudderless ship lost in an ocean of space, voyaging we know not whither - truly symbolic of the spiritual statues of ponykind.'

[Lt. Lowe @mlp_Lowe]

*Lowe groggily opens his eyes and, with bleary eyes, blinks at the clock. It’s way too early to be awake, and his head is pounding after his episode yesterday.

He lays back down on the covers, rubbing at his eyes to clear them of crust.*

[Lt. Lowe @mlp_Lowe]

((AFK))

[Lt. Lowe @mlp_Lowe]

*Lowe makes it home after a long walk, sighing as he scuffs his hooves on the steps up to his front door.

It's gonna be a long night, like always.*

[Lt. Lowe @mlp_Lowe]

*Luckily he doesn't have to see @mlp_Morpho's stupid face until tomorrow. Freaky ponybot could probably detect salt patterns on his cheeks or something, or maybe Lowe's eyes are still puffy.*

[Lt. Lowe @mlp_Lowe]

*Lowe pockets the photograph, wiping at his face with a sleeve.

He hopes in vain that ponies won't notice he's spent an hour crying as he shucks up his collar and merges into the crowd.*

[Lt. Lowe @mlp_Lowe]

*Lowe feels like he never really left.

But /they/ did.

They all did.*

[Lt. Lowe @mlp_Lowe]

*Remembering hurts, as does imagining it, because they're things Lowe can never have. Not anymore.

The worst of the sobs subside.

Lowe wonders if it was ever a little easier on her. Because she could go somewhere else inside her head and watch the pain from a distance.*

[Lt. Lowe @mlp_Lowe]

*He takes a shuddering breath, trying to calm his pulse.

These thoughts, these memories; they come with jagged edges and sharp points.

But in the end, that's because they're soft and bubbly things that could once make Lowe float.*

[Lt. Lowe @mlp_Lowe]

*His /son/.

Sometimes Lowe wishes he could turn back time and stop her from leaving.

Or shift one side of time and tip it against the other to make it overlap.

To have them all together again, as his own happy family.*

[Lt. Lowe @mlp_Lowe]

*Lowe knows there'll always be a hole inside of him where they once were.

A lifetime of tears shed for the two of them; for his son who he'd never see grow up, help with homework. Who he'd never get to be a /father/ to.

He chokes out, wiping his face with his sleeve.*

[Lt. Lowe @mlp_Lowe]

*But then he realized that he was allowed to build that for himself; made a new life and had a taste of it, and then it was ripped away.

Now he knows how it feels, and he can never go back to the stallion he was before.*

[Lt. Lowe @mlp_Lowe]

*He'd already thought it wasn't meant for him, and that was fine. He could deal with that reality.*

[Lt. Lowe @mlp_Lowe]

*When it comes down to it, it's just so unfair.

It was just a few simple things; a home, a colt, a partner, a dog.

For a stallion who's worked hard at his job his entire life. Never did anything too weird or out there.*

[Lt. Lowe @mlp_Lowe]

*He sees her hugging their son, sees himself wrapping a hoof around her, kissing the top of her head. That last, sunny adventure.

Lowe cries, clutching the photograph.

It comes out in choked, heaving sobs, shaking his frame and making his throat clog.*

[Lt. Lowe @mlp_Lowe]

*Lowe had tucked them away, the memories of her. Of him.

He knows she'd love him taking a second chance at life. Would support and encourage it.

He traces the photograph with a hoof.*

[Lt. Lowe @mlp_Lowe]

*They /did/ fit. He loved her, and she loved him. She was a great mom.

But deep down he knew something would happen. He knew she wasn't happy.

He’d also known back then that she’d leave. Explore the world.*

[Lt. Lowe @mlp_Lowe]

*And Lowe - well, his life was relatively boring, and he preferred it that way. Knowing what was gonna come next and hop from one case to the next.*

[Lt. Lowe @mlp_Lowe]

*They'd had their issues. Nothing big, but she'd always been more adventurous than he was. Like she was always somewhere else, whirling away from him in her thoughts.*

[Lt. Lowe @mlp_Lowe]

*He misses his colt, of course. Would give the world to have him back.

But sometimes he misses her too. Her pragmatism and her honesty.

The way she'd look after she'd woken up, still sleepy.*