Mallory Clark

Turns out, being in your 30’s is the shit. LGBT Mama 🏳️‍🌈 she/her

[Mallory Clark @mmaallory]

@becccasayss Tell them to fuck off if you don’t wanna do that!

[Mallory Clark @mmaallory]

Serious question: how the fuck do single parents do it?

[Mallory Clark @mmaallory]

My wife is NOT a YouTube person but she recently watched a @nickdiramio video with me and she is hooked. Turns out watching a big old gay talk shit about religion happens to be right up her alley.

[Mallory Clark @mmaallory]

My baby is a little mini me. I think she is the cutest thing to ever exist while simultaneously hating the way I look. Society done fucked me up.

[Mallory Clark @mmaallory]

@becccasayss Wow…I legit felt sad while reading that. RIP alley.

[Mallory Clark @mmaallory]

Okay, hear me out. Was the alley-oop a 2000’s trend?

[Mallory Clark @mmaallory]

@becccasayss Like, I knew it was a basketball move or whatever but I never considered that maybe little Ms. Oop retired.

[ADHD Jesse @adhdjesse]

The ADHD urge to buy a thing, watch all the videos about the thing, religiously track shipping until the thing arrives, excitedly open the shipping box to get to the thing, and then place the thing somewhere random and forget about it for 6-60 months.

[Mallory Clark @mmaallory]

There are only 50 followers here so don’t assume I’m getting plenty of input. I need answers here people.

[Mallory Clark @mmaallory]

Update: turns out that Jason Derulo song came out in 2013 so I had already graduated college at that point. What does it all mean?

[Mallory Clark @mmaallory]

@becccasayss I’m 8 months postpartum and I’m still like this. Instead of “I’m pregnant” it’s now “I’m a new mom” I’ll never go back.

[Mallory Clark @mmaallory]

@becccasayss If YouTubing every single aspect of birth and watching like 50 hours of birth vlogs a week counts then yes I did take birthing classes..

[Mallory Clark @mmaallory]

This whole ADHD hyper fixation thing hits different when you’re a parent. I have a feeling my 7 month old isn’t going to care that I stayed up until 3am doing a puzzle because *dopamine*.

[Scoob @Scoobydouchebag]

"Still punk as fuck", I whisper as I reach for my pill organizer

[Bloody Disgusting @BDisgusting]

[@horrorqueers podcast] Author @CooperSBeckett joins @tracedthurman and @bstolemyremote to discuss the queerness under the surface of classic creature feature TREMORS https://t.co/aBkzDOdMVe

[monica @waystarroyhoe]

“astrology isn’t real” bro we’re on a spinning rock and we have to pay for water. nothing is “real”.

[Charlie James @malecowgirl]

i want to get really good at skateboarding but i don’t want anyone to see me practice even one time