mmbergers

SAHM. Basset hound enthusiast. Ice cream addict. Wine chugger. My ideal weather is sunny w/ temps between 70-73 degrees.

[mmbergers @mmbergers]

Dear private IG accounts, You’re making it difficult to harass my friends. Please go public during this apocalyptic time so that I may at least spread joy with all the great @iamcardib gifs saying “corona virus.” It’s the least we deserve. #coronavirus #QuaratineLife

[mmbergers @mmbergers]

Me to the DMV guy taking my #REALID photo: “Did I blink? I don’t know how to smile when it’s not on selfie mode.”

[mmbergers @mmbergers]

#FriarFaithful

[mmbergers @mmbergers]

#FriarFaithful

[mmbergers @mmbergers]

I love scrolling thru IG and finding a meme that too accurately describes that very moment of my life. Makes me laugh and feel sorry for myself all at the same time.

[mmbergers @mmbergers]

It’s a proven law of life that your child will immediately want to play with the toy they just saw you cleaned up and put away.

[poppin’ fresh @lowercaseonly]

jaime:
brienne:
podrick:
ser davos:
tyrion:
tormund: “i drank from a giant’s tit for three (3) months”

#GameofThrones

[mmbergers @mmbergers]

Parenthood is the impossible balance of letting “kids be kids” while making sure they don’t grow up to be total assholes. #momlife #parentingishard

[BlackBunnySins @BadBunnySins]

Me: *opens and closes instagram to see if it'll work again*
Facebook and Instagam:
#FacebookDown

[mmbergers @mmbergers]

Chicago police say Jussie Smollett staged his attack because he was 'dissatisfied with his salary' https://t.co/8SebgND8SJ

[mmbergers @mmbergers]

@wamdar 😂 is there any other way to do it?! You’re the best lol

[mmbergers @mmbergers]

Did squats today!...while simultaneously eating Girl Scout cookies. Still counts. This year’s summer bod is going to be a surprise 🤗😐

[mmbergers @mmbergers]

@wamdar Most of mine are stretchy jeans 😂 still struggled.

[mmbergers @mmbergers]

Want a good post-pregnancy arm workout? Try on all your jeans/pants to see if they fit yet. Getting them over your butt and securing that button will guarantee you break a sweat. #momlife #gaveupmybodyforababy #postpartumworkout

[mmbergers @mmbergers]

You know you’ve lived in a place long enough when every kitchen drawer is “the junk drawer.” #mondaythoughts

[mmbergers @mmbergers]

Dear @amazon - please stop using commercials that activate my Alexa. I’m tired of having to yell at her as I’m waiting for my b-ball game to start up again. Thanks xx

[mmbergers @mmbergers]

Girls in oversized sweaters: laid back sexy, snow bunny; Me in oversized sweaters: hobo-chic knit trash bag

[mmbergers @mmbergers]

@jesmes15 Remember how our moms used to get REALLY mad at us? Yeah it was probably when we were 4. Bc I get like my mom sometimes 😤😂

[mmbergers @mmbergers]

I used to think “terrible twos” or “terrible threes” was thing...then she turned 4 and actual hell broke loose. #sendhelp #terriblefours

[mmbergers @mmbergers]

As an adult, I’ve realized 2 things: boredom is a luxury and that I won’t catch up on sleep until I’m 50. #adultingishard #lifewithtwokids