Pretzel Fanatic

Wife and mother. Lover of pretzels and all things sarcastic. Not sure why I came but I stayed for the hashtag games.

[Pretzel Fanatic @mmmPretZles]

#DontYouLoveWhen Karma miraculously shows up and does all of your dirty work

[Pretzel Fanatic @mmmPretZles]

Jesus, the Lord your God is coming. He is coming soon and swift. Read the book of John and get to know your God.

[Pretzel Fanatic @mmmPretZles]

@dom_lucre He gives better mustache rides than Gayle.

[Pretzel Fanatic @mmmPretZles]

@ilovenostalgia What in the un movie magic lol

[Pretzel Fanatic @mmmPretZles]

@RL_Stine Love it! I would also love to see Nora and the whole Fear Street saga to come out as well!

[Pretzel Fanatic @mmmPretZles]

@jmancurly

[Pretzel Fanatic @mmmPretZles]

@jmancurly Hi

[Pretzel Fanatic @mmmPretZles]

I’m officially old I just left the house looking like I give absolutely zero fucks about anything. Now I just have to remember to embrace that feeling when I Run into Everyone I’ve ever met in my life that hasn’t seen me in the last five years

[Pretzel Fanatic @mmmPretZles]

@KaylaChowShow I can’t feel anything

[Pretzel Fanatic @mmmPretZles]

@heyjacqui_ My ex sister-in-law’s uterus shifted(from coughing too much and too hard) and she had to have a procedure. Creeped the shit out of me. True story

[Pretzel Fanatic @mmmPretZles]

@Clay_57 Yes... only because my injection site was burning worse than a uti

[Pretzel Fanatic @mmmPretZles]

@DarlaTheDarling Terrance

[Pretzel Fanatic @mmmPretZles]

#IfMyNotebookCouldTalk I would be changing my name and dying of embarrassment

[Pretzel Fanatic @mmmPretZles]

The quickest way to spot a Terrorist... weight them, their weight is accurate on their driver’s license/pass ports

[Savage @The_Savage1]

#OddInfoToGiveDuringSex I never back down from a challenge

[Pretzel Fanatic @mmmPretZles]

Wrong hole #OddInfoToGiveDuringSex

[Rebecca @rebeccaisdope]

If a man says he's 5'11" that means he's 5'9" because if he were actually 5'11" he would have said he was 6'0".

[Pretzel Fanatic @mmmPretZles]

@piersmorgan thought the race thing was a little much... did he forget that Harry once wore a nazi costume to a Halloween party? Harry has come along way. Time you do to

[Pretzel Fanatic @mmmPretZles]

#LA!WorldNeedsMoreJill
#It’sASin

[Pretzel Fanatic @mmmPretZles]

It sucks being the bigger man, especially when the other party doesn’t realize you’re being the bigger woman

[Pretzel Fanatic @mmmPretZles]

@davidcarlyle_ Great film! You all did a beautiful job. I keep rewatching.