John Thomas

[John Thomas @mmmmblast]

I’ve reached the age where graffiti is really starting to grind my gears

[John Thomas @mmmmblast]

I can’t find my gone in 60 seconds DVD, it was here a minute ago

[John Thomas @mmmmblast]

Fucking mercy Minnesota! Can I wake up to a temperature above zero please.

[John Thomas @mmmmblast]

You know it’s cold when you go outside And you can feel your piss dribble freeze in your pants

[John Thomas @mmmmblast]

My wife mistook my “to do” list for a Motivational note. Now that’s what I call a win win

[John Thomas @mmmmblast]

When asked on how he stays in such great shape, @vindeisel234 stated he fasts for 16 hours then furiouses for 8 hours.

[John Thomas @mmmmblast]

My daughter said the girl on Encanto is stronger than me. So I highlighted this text and hit speak on my phone. “Sloans dad put craters in the moon with his finger tips when he threw the moon up in the sky and he is way stronger than the girl in encanto” now she’ll know the truth

[John Thomas @mmmmblast]

Dwarfism is a growing problem

[John Thomas @mmmmblast]

The telltale sign that you’re old is when you stop listening to new music

[Kurt Benkert @KurtBenkert]

W. #GoPackGo

[John Thomas @mmmmblast]

@LundyLunds23 Late night is the best

[John Thomas @mmmmblast]

“Is 6am to early to snowblow?” Asking for every dad in Minnesota today

[John Thomas @mmmmblast]

“We’re the generation that drank straight from the garden hose, had a drink of dads beer, played on rusty playgrounds, had lead paint on our walls! Inhaled Second hand smoke!”Yep…and you’re all dying of cancer now

[John Thomas @mmmmblast]

@chrisdelia I’m starting my constant eye contact with the homeless person on the corner, I go hard

[John Thomas @mmmmblast]

@chrisdelia Starting my constant iContact with the homeless I go hard

[John Thomas @mmmmblast]

@bitter_german Ugh, Why can’t our dicks shoot parm 😔

[John Thomas @mmmmblast]

Why isn’t anyone making Thanksgiving music?!? Where you @MichaelBuble

[John Thomas @mmmmblast]

My Minnesota friends, now is the time to thaw out your turkey. My Wisconsin friends, now is the time to unthaw your turkeys

[John Thomas @mmmmblast]

How about this, both sides were wrong and no one should riot.

[John Thomas @mmmmblast]

@LundyLunds23 You can’t get your fat ass up on a surf board 😂

[John Thomas @mmmmblast]

What are you doing for NewYears?!?Set alarm for 11:59, fall asleep at 9, wake up give my wife a peck on the lips, go back to bed. LETS FUCKING GO!!!!