Maggie Philbin

let me shitpost about conservatives in peace

[phones with six ones @phones111111]

1000% tariffs on podcast equipment

[Roshan Patel @roshanpateI]

Career Day at Middle School

- Firefighter: I fight fires
- Doctor: I cure diseases
- Product Manager: No updates from me

[DatNoFact ↗ (@datnofact.bsky.social) @datnofact]

hello I'm new to the stock market is it good when the intel ceo starts praying

[Ron Iver @ronnui_]

America: We can not afford to live.

Biden: Capri Sun pouches shouldn't be so hard to puncture. I am urging congress to act.

[perneeya @dykeistan]

i would give my life for my friends i'd do anything for them except answer their text messages

[bald ann dowd @ali_sivi]

they're euthanizing straight people in burlington, vermont

[剑女友 sword gf ☭ @punishedgarage]

love being with my bf it’s like dating the first paragraph of every single wikipedia article at once

[ostonox @ostonox]

convincing my daughter all rich people arent evil by spending the GDP of paraguay to buy her favorite website and fill it with nazis

[jay @kendallhosseini]

waystar royco if they didn’t have gerri

[horse dentist @equine__dentist]

don’t invite me to the function unless this is the vibe

[B.W. Carlin @BaileyCarlin]

Having a “The Bear” summer:
- Panic attacks
- Disassociating
- Living in past trauma
- Eating a lot of sandwiches
- Calling people cousin
- Shouting

[dooney and broke @fincherslay]

when there’s a bug in my room

[1984’s George Whorewell @EwdatsGROSS]

Therapy isn’t enough I need to fight a Republican