JAHnjez🇯🇲🇰🇪

Father. Founder Bara Afrika Travel. liverpool biggest fan. Entrepreneur. Biker. Adventurer. DJ. photographer

[George Njoroge @georgenjoroge_]

THE QUIET FUNERAL OF CENTRAL KENYA

We have a big problem and nobody is talking about it.

Not in church. Not in the county assembly.

Not at the barber shop. Nowhere.

Let me tell you how I found out.

This year I needed to hire people.
A driver. A shamba boy. A gardener. A farmhand for my goats in Kingeero.

Simple jobs. Honest jobs. Jobs our fathers did with pride.

I am now on my TENTH driver. Tenth.

And it is barely August.

I am not quoting a government survey. I am not quoting NACADA.

I am quoting my own payroll.

Driver number one disappeared on a Tuesday. Found Thursday.

Driver number four came to work smelling like a distillery with a birth certificate.

Driver number seven asked for an advance on Monday and a funeral on Friday, his own liver was writing the eulogy in advance.

As I write this, my current driver is sitting in a police station.

Arrested for drunk driving.

From a MORNING assignment. Not a night out. Not a wedding. A morning assignment I sent him.

The sun had barely cleared Ngong Hills and this man was already gone.😕

Walk through any shopping centre in Central Kenya at 6am and count the men leaning on verandas waiting for the den to open.

Men aged 25 to 45.

The exact men who should be marrying, building, planting, carrying coffins of the OLD, not filling them.

These are working alcoholics.

They show up.

They function. Barely.

They drive your matatu.

They wire your house.

They handle your goats.

And every shilling they touch goes through a keg tap before it reaches home.

And here is the part that breaks me.

Go to the villages.

The shambas are being run by women.

The chamas are women.

The church is women.

The funerals committee is women.

The boys are at the base.

An entire generation of Kikuyu men is quietly drinking itself out of history, and we are watching it happen through our car windows on the way to work.

Who will marry the girls?

I am serious.

Our daughters are graduating, working, buying plots and looking around at a marriage market of men who cannot pass a breathalyser at 8am.

We keep asking why our girls are single at 35.

The answer is staggering home right now from a den in Wangige.

Who will cry for the boy child?

Everyone laughed when that phrase started.

Nobody is laughing in Central Kenya.

We buried the boy child a long time ago.

We just haven’t held the funeral, because the men who should carry the casket are drunk.

And the funerals themselves, have you noticed?

A 34-year-old dies and the eulogy says “after a short illness.”

No. Name the illness.

The illness is sold in a 300ml bottle for fifty bob behind the market.

The illness has a distributor, a supply chain, and protection.

We are the region of coffee. Of tea. Of hustle.

Of men who walked from Kingeero to Nairobi barefoot and built empires.

And their grandsons cannot walk from the den to the gate.

So I am asking, honestly, painfully, with ten drivers worth of evidence:

Who will talk about this?

The politicians won’t the dens are voters.

The church whispers about it once a year.

The families hide it out of shame.

We have a problem.

It is not coming.

It is here.

It has a police OB number and it is sitting in a cell wearing my company’s uniform.

Central Kenya is not dying of poverty.

Central Kenya is dying of thirst and it keeps drinking the wrong thing.

[Sholla Ard 🇰🇪 @sholard_mancity]

I saw someone ask, “What exactly has Edwin Sifuna done in the Senate?”

Fair question.

Because in Kenyan politics, too many leaders are loud on TV and silent in Parliament.

So I checked the record.

So far, Sifuna has tabled 3 Bills and pushed 3 major people-centred motions:

1. Sports (Amendment) Bill
To reform sports governance, improve accountability in sports bodies, and protect athletes from mismanagement.
2. Energy (Amendment) Bill
To address high electricity costs, strengthen regulation in the energy sector, and push for fairer pricing for consumers.

3. Office of the County Printer Bill
To institutionalize county publication of laws and notices, making county governments more transparent and accountable.

And his motions?

1. Abolishing parking fees in hospitals, malls and airports
Because access to hospitals and essential services should not come with punitive charges.
2. Inquiry into deputy governors’ welfare and protection
To address the growing trend of political frustration, humiliation and sidelining of deputy governors.
3. Electricity cost reduction reforms
To push government and regulators to lower the cost of power for households and businesses.

On top of that, he has been active in Senate oversight committees, questioning governors, including Johnson Sakaja, on accountability. He has also submitted several statements in the Senate. And much more is on the way.

This is why some of us support Sifuna.

Not because we are blind.
Not because of party loyalty.
But because we checked the receipts.

Before dismissing him, show us your MP or Senator’s record first.

[Rouse the Rabble @KentMaster70254]

@amenya_nelson At this rate it's not a government but a band of demented looters and grabbers.

[George T. Diano @georgediano]

There is something wrong with Luo Nyanza leaders and some of their supporters. Suba North MP Millie Odhiambo is asking where Kiambu County gets all the money to fund the projects being showcased. This is after seeing Governor Kimani Wamatangi building 26 new Level 3 hospitals across Kiambu.

Like other corrupt leaders in Luo Nyanza, Millie seemed to suggest that Mt. Kenya’s “entitlement” is denying Luo Nyanza development. Well, Millie Mobona, here is the answer to your question. Look at Governor Gladys Wanga, for instance. She is the only governor in Kenya with two offices.

She renovated the old governor’s office at a cost of KSh 200 million and launched it in 2023. However, it was apparently not opulent enough, and she went ahead to spend another KSh 1 billion to build a new office, which was opened this year by Kasongo.

Furniture in the new office, according to Homa Bay County reports, cost taxpayers KSh 10 million. That’s a whopping KSh 1.2 billion spent on constructing an office, excluding other costs such as furniture, staff, allowances, cars, carpets, and more.

Wanga is very vocal in shouting the “Tuko kwa serikali” slogan, while Wamatangi doesn’t need to shout allegiance to deliver results. In Murang’a, Kang’ata is utilizing every coin to develop his county. Mt Kenya leaders spend most of their time running county affairs.

While Luo Nyanza leaders are moving around with Ruto shouting “Tutam.” Luo Nyanza leaders are very corrupt and often use Mt. Kenya as a scapegoat for their own failures. Have you ever seen Wamatangi or Kang’ata standing on top of vehicles singing WANTAM or TUTAM?

Luo Nyanza leaders have completely lost focus. They are singing TUTAM more than even the Yamune leaders who are directly benefiting from the loot. In fact, ever since the broadbased handshake, Kalenjin leaders stopped singing Tutam because they knew fresh Mumus had taken over the slogan.

[Kigonyi Wa Nduthi 🏍 @rex_maina]

Northern Bypass pale exit from Mirema drive, kweli tabia za wakenya.

@KeNHAKenya

[Willis Evans Otieno @otienowill]

Luo Nyanza, let’s do this together.

Post photos of public schools in your area , classrooms, labs, toilets, dorms, administration blocks.

No filters. No excuses. Just reality.

MPs love to discuss TUTAM on podiums and in Parliament, but we don’t discuss TUTAM without delivery.

If your school still looks like 1988, tag your MP.
Development is not a speech. It’s bricks, desks, water and dignity.

[IEBC @IEBCKenya]

2 days to the resumption of the Continuous Voter Registration (CVR).
Register at any IEBC Constituency office (except in areas currently with by-elections): https://t.co/TjWgBAaCEs

Services offered:
1. Voter registration
2. Correction or update of voter details
4. Transfer of voter registration to a new electoral area
4. Verification of voter details: https://t.co/4JNrkUQ0pm

Eligibility to Register:
1. Kenyan citizen 18 years and above
2. Possess a valid Kenyan Identity Card (ID) or valid Kenyan Passport
3. Not registered before as a voter
4. Not convicted of an election offence in the past five years
5. Not declared to be of unsound mind

Your Vote, Your Future
#CVR2025 #27thNovByelections #TalkwithIEBC #StopFakeNews #YourVoteYourFuture

[George T. Diano @georgediano]

Peter Ochieng, a certified mumu man from Kisumu, nearly fainted from happiness after his long-lost wife came crawling back just two days after he bagged a cool 1.3M from a betting site. This is the same woman who abandoned him seven years ago for a loaded sponsor with a big wallet and a bigger stomach.

But now, suddenly, she remembers her “one true love.” According to her, she never really left Ochieng, she was just giving him time to learn how to afford ugali fulu thrice a day. Such a caring queen! Ochieng’s parents tried to save their son’s skull from future hammering.

They begged him not to take her back. But our boy, blinded by love and the magic bean hidden under that green dress, stood firm. “Nyinyi hamjui the wonders that lie inside this woman… mnaongea bure!” he shouted as his parents almost collapsed in disbelief.

What Peter doesn’t realize is that this woman is his bad luck mascot. The minute she dumped him, blessings started falling like rain. He won millions! Now she’s back to restore the balance, and by balance, I mean draining that account until even Safaricom will ask, “Customer, are you really okay?”

Mark my words: dust is gathering at the horizon. In a few weeks, Ochieng will be broke again, staring at his empty wallet and wondering whether love or poverty hit him harder. But lucky for him, Kalahari Desert University of Science & Technology received full capitations this year, we receive students as they come. Na kama kawa sisi walala hoii hatuna maoni, Letu Jicho tu. 👀

[RoyalFreshBrands @RoyalMilkBrands]

“A sip in a chilly morning” brings the image of holding a warm cup — Royal Fresh hot milk — letting the steam rise as the cool air brushes your face.
#bestmilk #bestfeeling #hotmilk #WarmUpChallenge

[Cornelius K. Ronoh @itskipronoh]

MP Shakeel Shabir: We have two drug barons in the cabinet. The president is the corruption himself. Our country is doomed.

[Yoko @Kibet_bull]

Homabay county Referral hospital vs the new county headquarters.

[Joshua Okayo @okayojoshua]

Governor's office vs. county referral hospital. The people are happy their governor works in a conducive environment.

[I am Chege @_James041]

This is an abduction.

The vehicle numberplate has been removed and the abductors have covered their faces.

Kindly check on your friends. We are being ruled by killers.

#EndAbductionsKe #RutoMustGoNow

[JAHnjez🇯🇲🇰🇪 @MMuhika]

@galitoske Green chili @MissMuhika

[JAHnjez🇯🇲🇰🇪 @MMuhika]

@SakajaJohnson instead of dealing with hawker first, why don't you handle those ignorant pedestrians crossing the road while next to a footbridge 🤷‍♀️

[Francis Gaitho @FGaitho237]

Why do waiters serve white people first before serving you? This is British colonial infrastructure founded on segregation.

Don’t be mad at the waiters when you notice this.

[Cornelius K. Ronoh @itskipronoh]

John Methu: Ruto has destroyed Kenya’s economy, yet he is busy renovating all the State Houses and state lodges because he wants to live like a king. Mr. ONE TERM must go.

[#FagiaWote🇬🇪🇰🇪 @MkenyHalisi254]

@emugo90001 Exactly 💯.Until We Fix Ourselves We CanNot Fix The Leadership of Kenya.
@OkiyaOmtatah #GetItDone 2027.

[NTV Kenya @ntvkenya]

Tanzania overtakes Kenya as Uganda’s largest source of imports in Africa https://t.co/d91Z2x3j3C

[Cornelius K. Ronoh @itskipronoh]

They will not believe! 😀