Sharpey

Was on Twitter. Left X, went to Bluesky ( Am back on X too. Although it’s still called Twitter, right?

[Sharpey @mnsharpelad]

Gazza. Genius.

[Sharpey @mnsharpelad]

Every time my daughter does a somersault, green shoots appear on the palms of her hands. She’s a budding gymnast.

#LunchPun

[Vinnie Sullivan @VinnieSull1van]

Behold, the lost view of the 1990s corner shop. When a chocolate bar wasn't only dirt cheap, but big enough to eat in two sittings. ⏳️

[Sharpey @mnsharpelad]

Dracula and his three brothers have appeared in court accused of shooting a monk and a flock of male sheep. They face multiple Counts of FriarRams charges.

#LunchPun #RateMyPun

[Sharpey @mnsharpelad]

Our local bus company runs from Monday to Saturday, before being replaced for a day with an ice cream van. It’s a Sundae Service.

#lunchpun #ratemypun

[Sharpey @mnsharpelad]

I’m totally against all prejudice towards aardvarks. Say ‘NO’ to Anteatersemitism.

#LunchPun #RateMyPun

[Sharpey @mnsharpelad]

Billy Joel’s girlfriend loves trampolining. She’s an Up-Down Girl.

#LunchPun #RateMyPun

[Sharpey @mnsharpelad]

I just saw a Teletubby wearing a snorkel. It must have been a Dipsy Diver.

#LunchPun #RateMyPun

[𝐖𝐞 𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 @WATP72RFC]

🗓️ #OnThisDay 1️⃣9️⃣5️⃣6️⃣ : After 27hrs travel, #Rangers begin a 4 game Tour of Spain, with a 1-1 draw against Valencia at Campo de Mestalla(35k). Billy Simpson equalised on the 90th minute. The tour is notable for being the 1st time we wore v-necks, alongside an 'R' for our crest.

[Sharpey @mnsharpelad]

Where does He-Man keep his combine harvester? — By the plougher of Grayskull!”

#LunchPun #RateMyPun

[Sharpey @mnsharpelad]

So I said to Bob Dylan, “Who is your favourite Last of the Summer Wine actor, and in which weather condition?”.

He said, “The answer my friend is Bill Owen in the wind…”.

#LunchPun #RateMyPun

[Sharpey @mnsharpelad]

I’ve got a camel which looks exactly the same from both sides. It’a a Palindromedary.

[Max @maxharvey79]

My dad likes to score my mum's cooking out of ten.

Supper rated?

No, they're still going strong.

#LunchPun

[Jim Corbridge @MrBonMot]

My Mate works in A Biscuit factory, & is in a American Deep South Tribute Band , “ They a Blues RiBAND” …. #LunchPun

[Sharpey @mnsharpelad]

In my street there lives a horse, a sheep, a discourteous man, a peeping Tom, Sonny Bono’s ex-wife and a flightless bird.

It’s a crime-less street, and a Neigh Baa Rude Watch Cher Rhea.

#LunchPun #RateMyPun

[𝗠𝗶𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗲𝗹 @RFC_Michael_]

🥳 Paul Gascoigne on this day in 1996.

[Richard Pulsford @RichardPulsford]

Andrew Tate's brother, Dick, has a written record of everything said to him

#LunchPun

[Sharpey @mnsharpelad]

“You’d hate Drama School”.
“Yeah, RADA you than me”.

#LunchPun

[Sharpey @mnsharpelad]

Donald Trump is a f*ckin’ clown.

[Sharpey @mnsharpelad]

Always Look on the Bright Cider Life.

#LunchPun #GoodFriday

[Sharpey @mnsharpelad]

William Shakespeare walks into a bar dressed as the host of ITV’s ‘The Chase’. The dyslexic barman says, “You’re not welcome in here. You’re Brad!”.

#LunchPun