Minnesota Tonight

The comedy show keeping you up to date on your state.

[Erin Maye Quade @ErinMayeQuade]

I’d love to meet this 25 year old holding down a $100,000/year job in a city where they only pay $825(!!) a month in rent, has no student loans, and has a cell phone contract with an obviously mythological cell phone carrier.

[Minnesota Tonight @MNTonight]

Flashing lights at Allianz Field are the hottest thing to happen in the Midway since Justin Timberlake visited Target during the Super Bowl or maybe when your Uncle Dale found you a useless and mysterious "cool little gadget" at Ax-Man for Christmas. https://t.co/xVmTmpyO2r

[Minnesota Tonight @MNTonight]

#1 on Minnesota Tonight's Holiday Gift Guide list is a starter island for your sweetie. Santa came early this year, and he brought you an isolated patch of land for your cult activities and/or human-hunting trips! https://t.co/042LcgJWIm

[Minnesota Tonight @MNTonight]

When reached for comment, Jeff Bezos giggled and replied, "Call me in five years when Amazon owns the only remaining forests." https://t.co/4puSwMC0SZ

[Minnesota Tonight @MNTonight]

Employee's performance self- and peer-reviews headline news for some reason. https://t.co/lgnJL0D6hP

[Minnesota Tonight @MNTonight]

We're #4! We're #4!

[City Pages @citypages]

Twin Cities ranked nation’s 4th worst metro area for black people https://t.co/evIQVP4nuE

[Minnesota Tonight @MNTonight]

Truzzlebub, a real Minneapolis-based company, signs with online retailer Arbi to more efficiently sell Skleebies to Plurvoshes.

[Star Tribune Business @StribBiz]

Sezzle, which basically offers a kind of layaway for online shoppers, signs with with online retailer Tobi https://t.co/agICvompfV

[Minnesota Tonight @MNTonight]

What a fantastically Minnesotan hate crime! https://t.co/Lh8dMe3dpb

[Minnesota Tonight @MNTonight]

but why
https://t.co/qaXa7bO89O

[Minnesota Tonight @MNTonight]

Minnesota has a brand-new professional women's hockey team! The Whitecaps are sure to be highly skilled, underpaid, and underreported on. https://t.co/52SanpKbn2

[Minnesota Tonight @MNTonight]

Brooklyn Park and Brooklyn Center are making their winter parking restrictions stricter while also hilariously continuing to try and convince people they are different cities. https://t.co/hROH43J75z

[Minnesota Tonight @MNTonight]

HOT TIP FOR WINTER: If you just started thinking your house might be haunted, check your furnace to make sure you're not being slowly poisoned. It's probably gas, not ghosts! https://t.co/VFAFAYDArl

[Minnesota Tonight @MNTonight]

You've got 99 minutes left to vote, Minnesota, go do it!

[Minnesota Tonight @MNTonight]

What's the deal with sheriff's races? Our very own Sheriff @EmilyLindholm gives us the 411. https://t.co/VYJRHDjNaZ

[Minnesota Tonight @MNTonight]

It's election day tomorrow. Terrified? Get some reassuring words from Minnesota's Secretary of State @MNSteveSimon about voting in our state! https://t.co/AV35wFMEyQ

[Minnesota Tonight @MNTonight]

Please, Minnesotans, we beg of you. This is literally all we have: civic engagement bragging rights.

[The Minnesota Star Tribune @StarTribune]

We're supposed to be the best voters in the country, so don't let us down, writes @stribrooks https://t.co/5LbqPgNjBB

[Minnesota Tonight @MNTonight]

Ignoring every possible advantage society has granted to them, "anti-male discrimination" activists harass university into changing scholarship eligibility requirements. https://t.co/ikGB3MeL4x

[Minnesota Tonight @MNTonight]

Or as many Tommies called it, "Halloween Keystone and cornhole starts early!" https://t.co/5BR2BIqzs7

[Minnesota Tonight @MNTonight]

EMAILS!

(That's how this works, right?) https://t.co/brmSvPeXLJ

[Minnesota Tonight @MNTonight]

Arden Hills dairy company Land O'Lakes is in trouble for donating to Nazi sympathizer Rep. Steve King's campaign. No word on whether they're also in trouble for their uncomfortable, incongruous "Indian maiden" butter logo. https://t.co/Yxi6ope6Af