Melanie

(not actually a dog)

[Melanie @Mo_Merry]

@bidetbae Totally kidding for the record, those bitches ruined my life too

[Melanie @Mo_Merry]

@bidetbae As an 8th grade friend I’m offended

[Robert Schultz @_RobertSchultz]

any movie can be a Christmas movie as long as your family is arguing in the background

[Melanie @Mo_Merry]

Would you believe me if I told you my last name is MERRY and my family has wasted all that potential by never once making a Christmas card? Sure, kid me was spared years of embarrassment but now I’m 25 and I’m pissed.

[Melanie @Mo_Merry]

Returning my ex’s Christmas presents for Amazon gift cards rather than refunding my credit card cause I deserve to feel pampered

[♥mark magark♥ @markedly]

Kids will be like "How do you think you're gonna die" and then do a cartwheel

[Melanie @Mo_Merry]

Fresh idea: toast that stays warm

[Melanie @Mo_Merry]

@MeekAshleigh Same but where’s ur fav from cause I want more

[Melanie @Mo_Merry]

@factskelton Woooooo thanks for the knowledge I knew I could count on you! Here are some pretty ones.

[Melanie @Mo_Merry]

@factskelton I found a bunch of scallop shells today and a few of them have this pattern and I gotta know why!! (Not from the same scallop FYI)

[Melanie @Mo_Merry]

@factskelton Yes they are all from Cini beach! I’m strapped into my car seat go ahead

[Melanie @Mo_Merry]

@bidetbae This ones kinda obvious but if you have the time, sit down and do it with him. I��ve helped some kids with their online work recently and it’s honestly really confusing and he may just be frustrated and confused.

[Melanie @Mo_Merry]

@bidetbae Make him watch prison/juvie documentaries

[Melanie @Mo_Merry]

@bidetbae Bribes

[Melanie @Mo_Merry]

“Small regular and large”

[Melanie @Mo_Merry]

Need to share this- bf is a PA and has literally worked at a gynecologists office climbing inside vaginas all day and I asked him the other day what the ‘S’ meant on the tampon (which he took from said gynecologist) AND HE SAID SMALL

[Sarah Cooper @sarahcpr]

How to medical

[Melanie @Mo_Merry]

I figured it out! all you gotta do is find someone who always gives you the last bite and that’s love ❤️

[Melanie @Mo_Merry]

@eloiset1957 I feel sorry for you!

[Melanie @Mo_Merry]

@12Tigger12 Omg I love it