I am the pumpkin king

[John Watches Horror @Y2John84]

Black Phillip is on your timeline.

[mhai @ getting married!!! @mhaikkun]

the parent trap (1998) is a story about twins switching places to get their divorced parents back together. but to hallie's dog sammy, it is a story about something living in his house that LOOKS like hallie, SOUNDS like hallie, but IS NOT hallie. to sammy, this is a horror movie

[Laura Marston @Kidfears99]

TSA Pre-Check. HIGHLY recommend, especially if you’re diabetic or have devices attached to you. It makes airport security infinite times more bearable.

[JodingersCat-astrophe @JMoneySlimer]

I hope this email finds you, Carmen Sandiego

[Nature is Amazing ☘️ @AMAZlNGNATURE]

33-year-old fruit bat with arthritis goes on 'flights' to keep him active

[Dr Vyom Sharma @drvyom]

Everyone who wished “just put ONE normal person in the Olympics so we can see how good the pros are” - well…. are you happy now???? (I am)

[Laura Marston @Kidfears99]

For less than .0001% of the Pentagon’s annual budget, the US could provide insulin for free to all diabetics.

[MT @MasterTainment]

holy shit i think i just watched a man make a name for himself

[erin alyce @herooine]

sorry but i will never understand people being against free meals for kids in school. I do not give a shit if some families who can afford lunch get free lunch....feed the fucking kids.

[PedsHemeDoc @PedsHemeDoc]

Hi, I’m a pediatric hematologist 👋
Giving kids period products in schools is a great idea since , you know, lots of them get periods in school.

Thanks for highlighting this great initiative!!

[Samurai Apocalypse @HeatherIsUnsane]

How about you fuck off

[I am the pumpkin king @modrnhobbit]

Retweet forever!!!!

[Josh RR Jokien @joshcarlosjosh]

"So, I want to get ahead of this... a while back my cousin and I were fishing. It was my birthday, and he was refusing to give me a present even though he'd just found this beautiful, precious gold ring..."

[WeRateDogs @dog_rates]

This South Carolina community rallied to empty every kennel at their local shelter ahead of Hurricane Debby. 14/10 for all

[beel @qeeble]

armand is like if you fucked up an autistic kid and then gave him superpowers so now his superpower is to mask really well and be evil

[Claire E. Aubin? @ceaubin]

THE HORSES SHOULD GET THE MEDALS BECAUSE THE PEOPLE ARE MORE LIKE COACHES

[I am the pumpkin king @modrnhobbit]

🥲

[CV whORe, RN🫀✨ @tiredandtachy]

i am not even joking when i say that my OR MANAGER had to ask why we use a sterile slush machine to make ice for open heart surgery when we could just get ice from the machine in the break room 😭