maureen mcCormick

Girls dont fart. That sound you hear is actually baby unicorns being released into the world to sprinkle sugar on cookies.

[maureen mcCormick @moe_mkm]

Remember to always be kind to yourself

[maureen mcCormick @moe_mkm]

@IKEAUSA customer service is fucking top notch 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

[maureen mcCormick @moe_mkm]

my favorite part about remote working is getting a ping asking if you can join a call for 5 min and you say yes and then you are on the phone for an hour 🫠

[maureen mcCormick @moe_mkm]

i was one of those kids that used one folder for everything in high school and it has carried over to my work life - i use one “folder” on my computer and that is the downloads folder. #AnyoneElse? #ADHDProbs?

[maureen mcCormick @moe_mkm]

had the best dream that someone told me i was “new york times bestseller material” just by reading a paragraph i wrote… mind you, in real life i’ve never written anything besides captions and tweets and an occasional chaotic thought in a journal.

[maureen mcCormick @moe_mkm]

i feel like i haven’t cried in a long time so naturally i’ve cried 18 times today

[maureen mcCormick @moe_mkm]

airports bring out the worst in people #butwhy

[maureen mcCormick @moe_mkm]

bought a shirt at a concert last night and THEY ASKED ME IF I WANTED TO TIP?!?!? please call me out if i’m wrong but that is absolutely ridiculous and makes zero sense to me. PAY YOUR WORKERS A LIVABLE WAGES.

[maureen mcCormick @moe_mkm]

is it rude for someone to interrupt you on a meeting by saying “i’m gonna stop you right there”

[maureen mcCormick @moe_mkm]

PEOPLE: DONT EVER SETTLE. i promise you will find someone who is just as obsessed with you as you are with them…how my s/o responded after staying at his house for four weeks 😭😭♥️♥️ #Swoon

[maureen mcCormick @moe_mkm]

what does this mean?!?!?!?!

[maureen mcCormick @moe_mkm]

The new “you are not working out right” trend is “work out to sync with your cycle- if you are not changing your routines based on your menstruation cycle than you aren’t working out” MY GOD JUST LET PEOPLE EXERCISE HOW THEY WANT. people can’t do anything right smh

[maureen mcCormick @moe_mkm]

remember when you would be at a show and you would call a friend/family and hold the phone up so they could listen to the concert? #GoodTimes

[maureen mcCormick @moe_mkm]

picture of the breakfast sandwich i’ve day dreaming about since last night

[maureen mcCormick @moe_mkm]

my roommate took all my bagels to work with her thinking they were hers so naturally i called my sister crying because all i wanted was a bagel sandwich this morning 😭

[maureen mcCormick @moe_mkm]

@mary_louisem i beg to differ. have you forgotten about ilana and lincoln?!?!

[maureen mcCormick @moe_mkm]

so when are we going to stop calling it “plus size” clothing and start including it with ALL THE OTHER SIZES AND STOP SEGREGATING IT IN DIFFERENT SECTIONS ONLINE AND IN STORES?!?!?! THIS WORLD JUST LOVES TO KEEP ALL OF US SEPARATED EVEN THOUGH WE ARE ALL THE SAME #stupid #dumb

[maureen mcCormick @moe_mkm]

Pyrex markets their glassware as “a 10 piece set” makes you think youll get 10 containers right? wrong. 5 containers and 5 lids = 10 pc set. i’m sorry, i didn’t think you’d sell the lid separate but that is the world we live in now and i hate it here.

[maureen mcCormick @moe_mkm]

LOL got berated in a @Starbucks DRIVE THRU BY TWO SEPARATE CARS WITH KARENS for an honest mistake and they proceeded to tell me to leave after i offered to pay for their drinks. #HappyFriday

[maureen mcCormick @moe_mkm]

i’ve had a bowl of pasta everyday this week at 10 am and i feel like everyone should be doing this #thankmelater