Mom's Not Having It

venting the frustrations of mom life & wife life one meme and witty repartee at a time // IG @MomsNotHavingIt

[Mom's Not Having It @momsnothavingit]

How to drink coffee as a mom:
1. Pour hot coffee
2. Do everything else except drink coffee
3. Coffee is now cold; add ice
4. Do everything else except drink iced coffee; ice melts
5. Dump watery gross coffee down the drain.

[Mom's Not Having It @momsnothavingit]

My husband poured the grease from the ground beef he was cooking into the bowl where the baby bottles were soaking so now all the bottles and all the parts with little crevices are covered in a film of oil.

Is that grounds for divorce? I feel like it should be.

[Mom's Not Having It @momsnothavingit]

I'd probably be a really good mom, if I wasn't such a fucking abysmal mom.

[Mom's Not Having It @momsnothavingit]

Relax, I'm a mom. My coffee wasn't hot.
#coffee #MomLife #fail

[Mom's Not Having It @momsnothavingit]

Pro mom tip:
Cut the baby's nails when you're frustrated/angry/anxious.
It will force you to calm down so you can concentrate to make sure you don't nip their little buds.

(Actually this isnt even a joke tweet, this really does work).

[Mom's Not Having It @momsnothavingit]

Every morning at Wawa the same gray Acura parks next to me, with the same old guy sitting in the driver seat, reading the same paper with his 16oz coffee and if that's not a glitch in the matrix.... or, wait, its 2020. Maybe I should be concerned... 🤔 #DejaVu

[Mom's Not Having It @momsnothavingit]

My husband *feeds baby*.. *wakes me up* : "Do I have to burp her?"
.... well, idiot, she's 4 months old. Do you REALLY not know if you have to burp her after feeding her by now?
.
#tired #tiredasamother #husband #mom #moms #mamas #motherhood #motherhoodunplugged #reallife

[Mom's Not Having It @momsnothavingit]

Its just who I am now.

[Mom's Not Having It @momsnothavingit]

Pro mom tip: buy a clear shower curtain liner with pockets so you can watch something on your phone/tablet uninterrupted during your "self care" time.

Bonus points by turning on subtitles & continuing to watch if you have time to dry your hair!

#mom #motherhood #LifeHacks

[Mom's Not Having It @momsnothavingit]

What does it mean if you get motion sickness while using your phone and rocking the baby to sleep in the glider?

That can't be good right?
☠

[Mom's Not Having It @momsnothavingit]

Typing "People who eat cereal and put the bowl in the sink with cereal stuck to the sides so it gets cemented on are seriously THE WORST"

*glares at husband*

Send tweet.

[Mom's Not Having It @momsnothavingit]

This is giving my ptsd flashbacks. Never. Again.😫😫😫

[Ohio mom of two 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ #BLM @OhioMomoftwo]

Pyrex: almost unbreakable!

But don't worry, if it does break, it will shatter into a hundred million pieces all over your kitchen at 6:30 on a Monday morning.

No biggie.

[Mom's Not Having It @momsnothavingit]

Maybe you can get up and do some stuff for this kid, mkay?
.
#motherhood #parentingfun #parenting #parentingtips #parentinghacks #hacks #lifehacks #mother #motherhoodunplugged #mom #moms #momlife #husband #husbandandwife #myannoyinghusband #annoying #wife #relationshipgoals

[Mom's Not Having It @momsnothavingit]

All together now!

[Mom's Not Having It @momsnothavingit]

Anyone else's child prefer to sleep face down with their nose squished so they shoot up awake crying because they suffocate themselves?

No? Just my kid? Awesome...

#momlife #Moms #motherhood

[Mom's Not Having It @momsnothavingit]

Reached the epitome of momness this morning when I wiped spit up out of my hair w/ the burp cloth & put my hair in a bun because there's simply no time to wash my hair at this point in life so dry shampoo you better make magic w/ baby puke hair bc that's where I'm at rn.🙃

[Mom's Not Having It @momsnothavingit]

Is it written in a rulebook somewhere that mothers are not allowed to get out of the shower without hearing their kid crying or is that just my house?

#motherhood #mom #momvibe #momclub #baby #rules

[Mom's Not Having It @momsnothavingit]

A mood rn

[Abby Heugel @AbbyHasIssues]

This year I was going to get my life together, but given the fact we have a deadly pandemic, political corruption, national recession, murder hornets, hurricanes, deadly wildfires, and rampant civil unrest, I’m just going to sit on the couch with lasagna and wait this one out.

[Mom's Not Having It @momsnothavingit]

Getting especially good at throwing things at my cat from across the room to get him off of whatever he's not supposed to be on while simultaneously trying not to wake the baby who is sleeping on my chest. Follow me for more parenting tips!
#momlife #momhacks #baby #cats