Amber

Cat lady. Inappropriate, always.

[Amber @monkandmao]

Remember back in the olden days when I wouldn't shut up on twitter? I miss that. So, hi, strangers.

[Amber @monkandmao]

This is my most favorite video ever in the whole universe. He doesn't talk much, but when he does,… http://t.co/b07QNtIOzz

[Amber @monkandmao]

@dimsimkitty Aww! I adopted Mao on March 3, 2006 and Monk exactly one year later. Strange!

[Amber @monkandmao]

@Teneighteen Hey! Hi! Glad you said something. Going to go follow you now!

[Amber @monkandmao]

Pretty sure I have an ulcer again. My body is such an asshole. One giant asshole. (Have fun imagining me with a giant asshole for a body.)

[Amber @monkandmao]

@paluchador @minimalost We loooooove cauliflower wings, too, and usually do a mix of a little bit of seitan and a whole lotta cauliflower.

[Amber @monkandmao]

@paluchador @minimalost We make the seitan from scratch, fry it up, then douse it in buffalo sauce. Not really based on a recipe, I guess.

[Amber @monkandmao]

@plexus12 Thanks to @dblwidephotog, I know what's going on! Police scanner is now keeping me updated. Exciting Saturday in the 'hood!

[Amber @monkandmao]

@dylanw Races?! You're a badass! We're planning a trip up there in summer. Missing my Seattle friends!

[Amber @monkandmao]

@dblwidephotog Thanks for the lovely picture of our house! That's my green CRV. :)

[Amber @monkandmao]

@dylanw Alive and well! Just hiding out on Instagram. Sorry, Twitter. How are you, stranger?

[Amber @monkandmao]

EXACTLY. RT @hamsterRelish: @monkandmao Why shoot when you could set landmines or dig tiger traps?

[Amber @monkandmao]

@guyincognito Yeah, I don't want this to turn into the highlands.

[Amber @monkandmao]

@guyincognito Hurry up and gentrify already!

[Amber @monkandmao]

See my last retweet? That's our house on the corner with my green CRV in the driveway. #ghetto

[dblwidephotog @dblwidephotog]

Police Barricade near 1000 S Clay St in Denver for suspect who shot a homeowner in the leg during a robbery attempt

[Amber @monkandmao]

@joeymurdah If I somehow manage to not eat the entire thing for lunch, I'm rewarding myself tonight... by eating what's left.

[Amber @monkandmao]

@hamsterRelish But they're, like, hella nutritious, right? Humans don't know what they're missing.

[Amber @monkandmao]

@hamsterRelish 'Cept we wipe with things that are not our tongues.