Orangepumpkincarrot

[はち @hati86jp]

神々しいハンバーガー😂😂
#McRibNFT

[Orangepumpkincarrot @monkeyface920]

I'm starting a YouTube channel doing really stupid tech reviews. Here's the first video. Share if you like it. https://t.co/LMFNkyD0eC

[Orangepumpkincarrot @monkeyface920]

For a healthy colon, be sure to have diarrhea twice, at the same time, at least three times a day. #truth #livelong #healthy #yolo

[Orangepumpkincarrot @monkeyface920]

Nobody's ever like "Yeah dude, I'm pretty into guy bands right now." #guysarepeopletoo

[Orangepumpkincarrot @monkeyface920]

Having needles placed on your body to remove pain is acupuncture, but having needles placed in somebody else to add pain is called voodoo?

[Orangepumpkincarrot @monkeyface920]

SPAM is a meat. Not all meats are SPAM. Not all SPAM is meat...namaste. #haiku #romanticpoem #namaste?

[Orangepumpkincarrot @monkeyface920]

The existence of the phrase "dental floss" implies that there are other types of flosses. For example, "rectal floss".

[Orangepumpkincarrot @monkeyface920]

I spilled some apple cider vinegar on my pants. So I soaked them in apple cider vinegar and now the stain is gone.

[Orangepumpkincarrot @monkeyface920]

I just found out Jamba isn't a fruit.

[Orangepumpkincarrot @monkeyface920]

I have an oscillating TV. That way everyone in the room can alternate between being entertained for a moment and then bored for a while.

[Orangepumpkincarrot @monkeyface920]

I started taking Tae Kwon Do to defend myself from this one bully in my Karate class who's teasing me about taking Pilates.

[Orangepumpkincarrot @monkeyface920]

Dr.Dre will release a new stethoscope so that non-rapping doctors can finally listen to the sounds of your poor health with muddy bass.

[Orangepumpkincarrot @monkeyface920]

In Thailand, it's rude to grab a woman's penis.

[Orangepumpkincarrot @monkeyface920]

If gas isn't used for skyrocketing, then it can't do it.

[Orangepumpkincarrot @monkeyface920]

I got a bootleg mirror from China which works and all, but the only thing it doesn't reflect back is self-esteem.

[Orangepumpkincarrot @monkeyface920]

I give Yelp ★★☆☆☆.

[Orangepumpkincarrot @monkeyface920]

If you want to try to kill yourself in a Prius, run a hose from your tailpipe to your window. You'll successfully almost die in two weeks.

[Orangepumpkincarrot @monkeyface920]

Turn that frown into an erection.

[Orangepumpkincarrot @monkeyface920]

I have installed a recycling bin inside my mailbox. I will then use the money I made from recycling to glue my mailbox shut forever.

[Orangepumpkincarrot @monkeyface920]

If it fits inside, it's microwavable.