monte

call me Washington with the amount of 1s I get

[Moongazer @joeybeastmarket]

The only time someone in my family who wasn’t my mom or grandma hit me was when I was 16 and my uncle was working on his 1970s Mustang in the driveway and I asked how someone could fix a car every day for 20 years and it still didn’t work

[Swann Marcus @SwannMarcus89]

The last place candidate in the LA mayoral race is a professional Roblox YouTuber who opened his campaign by making sure everyone knows he opposes Roblox’s age verification requirements

[doomer @uncledoomer]

"shoot me faggot" rules. this zoomer was cooking. now that boomer is going to lose his entire net worth on lawyers fighting an attempted murder charge lol

[Carson Bradley @CarsonSCBradley]

Fun fact: Canada's new AI Strategy includes the word 'indigenous' over 6 times more than 'GPU'

[The Redheaded libertarian @TRHLofficial]

Sorry little nugget. You were disabled.

[Allie ✞ @allie__voss]

The Venn diagram between people who think you should get fired for using the R word and people who think you should be able to euthanize your child if it has Down syndrome is almost a circle

[Gay Interrupted @TwinkTheory]

There’s nothing scarier than realizing you’re on a vacation with “game people”

[Hunter Biden @HunterBiden]

@Kenn321705 I’ve never stolen an erection in my life.

[femiiiiii. @femiiiszn]

adulting really humbles you. i finally understand why some people go quiet, stop posting, or just disappear from social media.

[Garnett Genuis @GarnettGenuis]

🚨🚨SHOCKING

This company fired Canadian workers and hired ILLEGAL workers. AFTER they had been found out, Liberals gave them multiple rounds of subsidy anyways.

Your tax dollars went to subsidize a company that fired Canadians and hired illegal workers.

The Minister who is supposed to be responsible for Jobs says that she wasn't aware of this, even though it was her government that provided me with the information.

[New York Post @nypost]

Anti-ICE agitator who allegedly bit officers during Delaney Hall protest was previously accused of distributing child porn https://t.co/PYe4JAZX9C

[Stephen A Smith @stephenasmith]

The Stephen A. Smith Show on 710 ESPN LA comes on 9-11 pm Tonight. We will NOT discuss Kobe Bryant. We will, however, discuss the homosexual

[Dr. Maalouf ‏ @realMaalouf]

Muslim student asks: “Can I practice gay anal sex to widen my ass for a bomb?”

Muslim teacher answers: “Normally forbidden, but for jihad? Totally allowed!”

Is it just me, or they are all repressed and gay?

[Connor @joannesbitch]

i refuse to give men with stupid ass moustaches the attention they so desperately crave

[𝗕𝗿𝗲𝗲𝘇𝘆’🦉 @OvOBrezzzy]

The way everyone went quiet as soon as he turned the lights off LMAOOOO

[retard mode ✞ @retardmode]

old spice has once again given me third degree burns on my armpit

[roku @rokuxvii]

pro tip just get in shape so you can justify having unusual/weird hobbies

[Nearhan @Nearhanuddin]

“I wish I was Wasian” ok wish granted you are now Polish-Bangladeshi

[𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 @OrevaZSN]

App idea: Shazam but for the sound my car is making.

[Aaron! @c6_shanky]

You take for granted the humble car napkin until you really need one