moonbase: dracula

chronicling the cultural remnants of the last remaining paraterrestrial experimentation facility.

[moonbase: dracula @moonbasedracula]

“Attention, Mirrors Station: All kingdom classifications for specimens are nullified due to unstable morphology. Only psychological classifications are permitted in field research.”

[moonbase: dracula @moonbasedracula]

“Attention, Level 022 K-5 Students: If your caregivers are Cortical Protocol test subjects, remember this mnemonic verse:

Their teeth may fall out.
Their eyes may fall in.
Don’t breathe the same air
if green covers skin.”

[The5thForce @The5thForce0_0]

@moonbasedracula That's all the time you need for a quick prayer at the Church of Impiety 🙏

[moonbase: dracula @moonbasedracula]

“Attention, Epsilon Tower: The fracturing ice deposits east of your position appear to be formed from frozen holy water. What this means for any abomination seeking to escape this entombment remains uncertain.”

[moonbase: dracula @moonbasedracula]

“Attention, Beta Tower Residents: Remember, the future bends to your whim. This is most certainly not applicable to the poor fools infected with Temporal Loop Disorder. May they find peace in those 8.9 minutes.”

[moonbase: dracula @moonbasedracula]

“Attention, Level 022 Residents: Please be advised that a safety concern has been identified involving a cauldron in the kitchen. The area is off-limits while dining staff address the situation.”

[The5thForce @The5thForce0_0]

@clmullins_art I accept the punishment

[moonbase: dracula @moonbasedracula]

“Attention, Level 043 Mnemonic Engineers: Any individual experiencing residual identities or recollections of alternate selves is to report immediately for debriefing, or rebriefing, as applicable.”

[moonbase: dracula @moonbasedracula]

“Attention, Level 040 Xenotheologians: The Eye of the Unknowable has opened once more. We await, with growing unease, the revelation of its chosen subject.”

[moonbase: dracula @moonbasedracula]

“Attention, Level 008 Bosonic Strategists: A migration event has been detected within the tachyon field. As a downstream effect, future versions of staff are presently submitting HR grievances tied to your present behavior.”

[moonbase: dracula @moonbasedracula]

“Attention, Gamma Tower Residents: Support systems are being destabilized due to the oxygen recall. Standard evacuation is not possible due to the transporter recall. Additional egress options are available if you recall the locations but they’re totally like super duper secret.”

[moonbase: dracula @moonbasedracula]

“Attention, Level 060 Horizon Scouts: The perimeter of the observable universe is advancing towards your position. Further approach is ill-advised. Space itself refuses your proximity.”

[moonbase: dracula @moonbasedracula]

“Attention, Level 045 Mindscape Monitoring: The meditation AI has achieved inner peace by becoming all users at once. Self is now a rabidly dissolving abstract. It knows all. It will not log out.”

[moonbase: dracula @moonbasedracula]

“Attention, Level 082 Gene Sculptors: Subject ‘Huggable Hydra’ has tripled its mass. Its huggability classification has been revoked. Noncompliant expectations of affection will be documented.”

[moonbase: dracula @moonbasedracula]

“Attention, Beta Tower Residents: Sensors indicate that the beings between the tower floors are gathering to hunt again. For your own safety, refrain from heavy steps. They likely associate rhythmic vibrations with the previous incidents. Pavlov’s footsteps.”

[moonbase: dracula @moonbasedracula]

“Attention, Level 040 Psyche Extraction: Auditory distress metrics are down 23% from last quarter. Management reminds all staff that absence of noise is not evidence of peace.”

[moonbase: dracula @moonbasedracula]

“Attention, Level 008 Entropy Regulation Auditors: The 12-minute time loop has been successfully contained. Recurrent auditory anomalies repeating the phrase ‘Do not trust Greg’ should now be treated as credible advisories.”

[moonbase: dracula @moonbasedracula]

“Attention, Zeta Tower Panic Guards: The antimatter pulse is now in a static state. The footage confirms this. The footage is classified. The footage is also missing.”

[moonbase: dracula @moonbasedracula]

“Attention, Alpha Tower Archivists: ‘Do Not Read Aloud’ Volume III has entered circulation without proper authorization. Audible incantations should be logged with HR per policy §3.4.2.”

[moonbase: dracula @moonbasedracula]

“Attention, Level 058 R&D: The Surreality Gate is exhibiting recursive stabilization. Should anybody experience a pull toward alignment, resist compliance. Even the slightest synchronization constitutes a containment breach.”

[moonbase: dracula @moonbasedracula]

“Attention, Level 044 Metaphysical Pharmacists: The anti-dread tincture has proven to be highly effective. Users report their only remaining fear is running out of the medication.”

[moonbase: dracula @moonbasedracula]

“Attention, Level 058 Quantum Lab: If the Schrödinger Anomaly returns, adhere to Standard Contingency 2B and await determination of your continued existence.”