my heart breaks for my mom. she doesn’t really get how i experienced abuse from her because the abuse she experienced growing up was barbaric. i can’t really bring up trauma because it just does not matter when she was getting beat with a hose, burned with a clothing iron, etc.
⠀ my abuse isn’t poetic. it was not justice or necessary. the earth left me to die and there is no such thing as karma. the gods watched idly by as i was killed in that house and not a damn person tried to help me.
has anyone else been suicidal since they were a kid? i have been wishing to die since i was like 8. i can't imagine people not having thoughts about suicide, because i genuinely have felt like that my whole life, and i don't think there was a reason why i felt that way as a kid