Moose Punch!

LA face with an Oakland booty

[Moose Punch! @MoosePunch]

Tired of making excuses for my messy house. Now I greet people by gesturing at everything and saying "this is how I live."

[Moose Punch! @MoosePunch]

Just finished a roll of dental floss right before the archeologists found it

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Just shat so hard I needed a nap

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Inexplicably and against my will, I've somehow reached a stage in life where I think I should try my hand at competitive eating

[Moose Punch! @MoosePunch]

@Camel_Crushin Dan the ham is a hoot

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It's 9:41 AM and I've already pooped thrice

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Miracle Whip: Proud Sponsor of People That Don't Season Their Food

[Moose Punch! @MoosePunch]

Flossing is for the birds (they have no teeth it would take 2 seconds)

[AB @AB84]

I heard his girlfriend is a junior there #CTESPN

[𝓜𝓮𝓵𝓪𝓷𝓲𝓮 @MelDutchie]

Had a fight with a trash bag today, thought of you.

[Moose Punch! @MoosePunch]

@GamewithDave

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@tankcesar Alvin, Simon, Theodore, and the guy with the ears

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Even allowing for the holiday, I have eaten an alarming amount of cheese this past week

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@Bob_Janke I don't even know if there's context to this but I agree wholeheartedly.

[Bö Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke]

I hope Greta Van Fleet broke up

[Moose Punch! @MoosePunch]

@jlock17 You've convinced me

[Jerry Lock, Nobel Prize 3rd Runnerup @jlock17]

It’s cold and I’ve decided to start wearing a knit cap all the time like I’m in the Monkees.

[Moose Punch! @MoosePunch]

I appreciate people that retweet smut on occasion. Absolutely unhinged behavior, but I appreciate it nonetheless.

[Moose Punch! @MoosePunch]

Who the fuck is buying this?

[X @X]

X Shop has landed, get your X gear before it's gone

[Moose Punch! @MoosePunch]

@ohbricki @AriDrennen Matt Walsh was doing this all throughout Biden's administration too. Trump is not the Boogeyman.