the more i familiarize myself with the non-linearity of progress and the anxiety that comes with it, the more i appreciate those little steps forward. the more i wonder how i can, in the face of those lonely moments, keep moving forward.
there is a strange, radical peace in the idea of cosmic indifference, where our earthly feelings are rendered inconsequential against the vastness of the cosmos.
if you ever lose your spark, resist the urge to abandon yourself. stay with yourself long enough to find it again. and once you do, protect it fiercely, because not everything worth having can be easily recovered.
certain gestures summon the most beautiful smiles.
i noticed two strangers tryimg to take a photo and showed them how to use the sunlight to their advantage.
the space between the thank you and the smile felt like gold.
i know of one way to overcome self-doubt:
- to develop raw belief in oneself to the point of delusion.
- act as if the outcome is certain, and to believe in one's commitment to always figure things out.
there is a haunting clarity and tragic longing to chopin's nocturnes when the rest of the world is silent; op. 48 no. 1 feels less like a song and more like a private haunting.
as much as i detest this administration’s extravagance at the expense of the common people, i must admit that certain policies being articulated and implemented today will have consequences that echo for years to come--even if the full results are not yet visible.
i will be finishing my exams on monday and will have a six-month break afterward.
during this time, i plan to go on more walks than usual, listen to chopin and rachmaninov, read kafka and dostoyevsky. i will also try to learn painting.
when you observe much of human beliefs and actions, you begin to realize that accepting and living in/with contradictions is a necessary consequence of rejecting the binary models of human behavior.
to awaken is to realize that we have been fighting a losing battle by resisting life. yet enlightenment is not about winning.
realizing not to resist is not the same as being passive. it is a dynamic harmony: moving with life rather than fighting it.