gordie

she/her | invest in yourself

[gordie @morganvouk]

"feed your body, not the trash can"

well, what do I do if my body is a trash can??

[oops 🎱 @onlinedjo]

the sluttiest thing a man can do is be joe keery

[Boze Herrington, Library Owl 😴🧙‍♀️ @SketchesbyBoze]

People are reading AI-generated synopses of books and then claiming they read 100 books in a book. This is how the abolition of books began in Fahrenheit 451: classics were condensed into five-minute summaries for those too busy to do the reading. Later came the burnings.

[jxke @jakemorell]

“close the borders, we’re tired of felons walking into this country”

motherfucker you just elected one as the goddamn president of the united states of america

[gordie @morganvouk]

@speakingofdying au contraire! I would’ve thrown a parade in your honor

[Washington State Dept. of Natural Resources @waDNR]

May is Volcano Awareness Month.
We have volcanoes.
You are now aware.
See you next May.

[gordie @morganvouk]

no time like the present to retweet this — btw, THE irish rovers liked this tweet…just sayin’

[gordie @morganvouk]

The Irish Rovers could do WAP, but Cardi B could never do The Unicorn

[gordie @morganvouk]

hey @jonasbrothers, let me know if you want to hire me as a proofreader

I would truly love nothing more

[matt bernstein @mattxiv]

a conservative christian foundation paid $20 million for those jesus ads and i'm just thinking about all the things jesus would've preferred to spend $20 million on

[Meech @MediumSizeMeech]

If Rihanna REALLY wanted to do sumn, she woulda made Tom Holland come out and perform the Umbrella choreo #SuperBowlLVII

[PUNS @ThePunnyWorld]

Doctor: I'm sorry, but we had to remove your colon.

Me Why?

[gordie @morganvouk]

how are there less than 2 weeks left of 2022

[gordie @morganvouk]

can anybody with a science or food or any relative background tell me why my peppermint latte tastes like sweet potatoes? I can definitely tell the peppermint is trying, but it’s really just giving sweet potatoes.

[gordie @morganvouk]

catch up series continued:

- hearty vegetable soup
- orange chiffon cake
(these were both for grandma’s birthday dinner)

- banana bread
- potato parmesan soup
- creamy potato soup
- chocolate chip cookies (of course)

[gordie @morganvouk]

ok I’m starting a thread of things I cook/bake while living with my grandma

because what else do you do when you live with your grandma

(especially when you live with my grandma, who is the peak matriarchal cook/baker of my family)

[gordie @morganvouk]

oh boy, big catch up from the last few weeks coming today:

- chili (my parents’ recipe)
- cornbread
- pumpkin cookies
- pumpkin raisin muffins
- pumpkin chocolate chip muffins

[gordie @morganvouk]

today is as good a day as any to say I hate elon musk

[gordie @morganvouk]

I try my best to be a strong advocate for thanksgiving amidst all the “christmas starts at midnight on november first” sentiments, but I have to say: the peppermint mocha from starbucks makes it really hard

[gordie @morganvouk]

why tell me today is the first day I can get a peppermint mocha when, in fact, that is a flat-out LIE and I canNOT get a peppermint mocha today

quit lying, @Starbucks

[gordie @morganvouk]

got recognized as a regular at the coffee shop this morning!! this is it!! I’ve peaked!!

[gordie @morganvouk]

weekend report:
- tomato soup (grandma’s recipe) & grilled cheese for dinner on saturday
- chicken cacciatore & breadsticks for dinner on sunday (both using grandma’s homemade recipes, of course)