morgan witwer

[morgan witwer @morganwitwer22]

If you have more than one gym selfie (even one is pushing it), it’s a left swipe. If you have “figuring out my dating goals” and you’re over 30, it’s a left swipe. And finally, if your first picture is with five other guys trying figure out which one you are, left swipe.

[morgan witwer @morganwitwer22]

You know you are getting old when you ask for new cooling sheets and a suitcase for your birthday

[morgan witwer @morganwitwer22]

Rewatching Greys Anatomy for the 40th time, and I forgot what absolute bangers they play every episode

[morgan witwer @morganwitwer22]

@salim_mussa 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

[morgan witwer @morganwitwer22]

Student: you look kinda mean

Me: what do you mean? I’m so nice my personality radiates in my face.

Student: …I wouldn’t say that if I were you.

🙃🙃

[morgan witwer @morganwitwer22]

I’m a 1996 baby and I cling to being a millennial for dear life.

[morgan witwer @morganwitwer22]

Something that’s worse than heartbreak is a restaurant forgetting the sauces you ordered..

[morgan witwer @morganwitwer22]

When a new Netflix show comes out just say it was great on social media. Don’t ruin the plot. I already know who the killer is in His & Hers and it ruined it for me trying to still watch.

[morgan witwer @morganwitwer22]

We lived with our parents had nothing to lose 😂

[morgan witwer @morganwitwer22]

My biggest fear is marrying into a “everyone orders their own thing and doesn’t share everything” family 😂😂

[morgan witwer @morganwitwer22]

And because I stayed out till 2:30am like it was still 2016. Gotta remember I’m 29 now and my body is responding like I committed a violent crime.

[AYANNY @gaygirldiaries]

normalize BED-ROTTING on jan 1st for your nervous system.

[morgan witwer @morganwitwer22]

Spent last night watching Elf and tonight watching Criminal Minds. It’s called balance

[morgan witwer @morganwitwer22]

As someone who works with elementary students, I don’t say this lightly—the way this was handled showed an incredible level of empathy and care.

[Bravo @BravoTV]

A glimpse into parenthood with Dr. Mimi and Steve. Stream #Married2Med on @Peacock.

[morgan witwer @morganwitwer22]

It’s almost Christmas and I didn’t have one tamale 😩😭

[morgan witwer @morganwitwer22]

@salim_mussa Just so you know I put on YG my entire drive to work today just because of this

[morgan witwer @morganwitwer22]

I have an undying love for 90’s and early 2000’s country and it will never go away

[morgan witwer @morganwitwer22]

My mom put on Housewives and my dad sitting through 45 minutes of screaming and drama and his only comment was:

Todd: “She can’t be on her phone while driving. That’s illegal.”

Really, Todd? THAT’S your one takeaway

[morgan witwer @morganwitwer22]

@salim_mussa Oh the people should already know that

[morgan witwer @morganwitwer22]

I admire people who can say no to bread. Can’t be me

[morgan witwer @morganwitwer22]

Not to be dramatic but my work being chill about wearing jeans is the best thing to ever happen to me.