Moriah Hummer

Creator, author and artist of Flat Track Furies. Roller derby. Motorcycles. Overall pie enthusiast.

[Moriah Hummer @moriahpariah]

When your toddler turns 3 your hands will always smell like hot dogs. No exception. You are always microwaving hot dogs and cutting them up this is your life now

[Moriah Hummer @moriahpariah]

@Zerggiee @lofi_dood It’s also wild to me that people are surprised! We should be striking *regularly,* it’s not something that should be seen as taboo or uncommon

[Moriah Hummer @moriahpariah]

@jesterlou @MHollyRosing Me please!

[Moriah Hummer @moriahpariah]

@BassicNic @flattery_sucks I liked that movie quite a bit but also Emily Blunt AMIRIGHT

[Moriah Hummer @moriahpariah]

Dudes are hilarious cuz they think the fight is over simply because they fell asleep and woke back up again

[Moriah Hummer @moriahpariah]

And this *chef’s kiss* is why we need writers:

[Moriah Hummer @moriahpariah]

The best thing about Mira, Royal Detective is that if she happens to find a criminal they don’t make her (a kid) arrest them. Instead, they make a cow do it. A cow is the deputy. This is the best show.

[Moriah Hummer @moriahpariah]

@brumblehag Peak celebrity behavior

[plæst이k @plaest2k]

the worst thing about doing a comic is that it forces you to draw a bunch all at once so you inevitably get better at drawing and ruins the style consistency

[Moriah Hummer @moriahpariah]

@brumblehag YES. He is so sweet and kind and genuinely just wants to make people feel happy when they eat his desserts. He’s perfect.

[Moriah Hummer @moriahpariah]

@brumblehag Evie, you are *very* pretty. VERY VERY

[Moriah Hummer @moriahpariah]

@brumblehag Your most retweetable tweet

[Moriah Hummer @moriahpariah]

@brumblehag Mine is just a long and dramatic “uuuuuuugggghhhh” while throwing my head back

[Moriah Hummer @moriahpariah]

@creeptwin Honestly I would appreciate it. A lot. With the chaos of packing and getting out the door on time I’ve absolutely left dirty dishes in the sink forgetfully and was super grateful when I came home and they weren’t there.

[Moriah Hummer @moriahpariah]

@brumblehag @femmebrulee69 Oh I didn’t see this yes the Glossier ones are just super losable???

[Moriah Hummer @moriahpariah]

@brumblehag I lose my glossier lip colors about 7 days after I purchase them with no exception

[Moriah Hummer @moriahpariah]

@spacecrone @brumblehag I have to agree with this! She’s got charisma and stage presence in spades and it makes up for a lot.

[Moriah Hummer @moriahpariah]

@brumblehag GREAT idea!

[Moriah Hummer @moriahpariah]

Hey, so I have a young friend who has been admitted to a boarding school/mental institution. I’d like to send them something and would like suggestions on what would be nice and also permissible. Any thoughts?