once you turn 20 you have to fight everyday for the rest of your life to not lose your personality & spirit...bc what once came naturally to you will be exhausted into nothing if you don't actively Try. it's terrifyingly easy to become a lethargic, soulless adult
sad Japanese man literature (Mishima, Dazai etc) is so effortlessly self-absorbed and raw and convincing that you really have to be careful with it. Read No Longer Human at the wrong time and you'll be thinking yeahhh. Drunk and sexy and sad and smarter than everyone. Thats me