Robert Nyandiko Mose

An administrator, ardent #SundownerKbc fan, lover of Country Music and reggae, a husband and a father to four lovely boys and girls.

[Robert Nyandiko Mose @MoseRobert]

@kijana_misa What did you want him to love? Chicken? 🤔🤔🤔😤

[Robert Nyandiko Mose @MoseRobert]

@amerix We as Maragoli Men Association are seriously considering seeking redress in court for character assassination on our girls. If you had an unlucky encounter with one, you can't condemn everyone. 😆😆😆

[Robert Nyandiko Mose @MoseRobert]

@KenyanSays Mliandikia Umoja wa Mataifa waraka kwa Kiswahili. Wee inafaa upotee.

[Robert Nyandiko Mose @MoseRobert]

@Nyaburinyauma A snake lives at a corner in your bedroom.. You'll one day disappear.

[Robert Nyandiko Mose @MoseRobert]

Do you remember when you joined X? I do! #MyXAnniversary A decade and almost half on X formerly Twitter and it feels good.

[Robert Nyandiko Mose @MoseRobert]

@Nyaburinyauma Fombe yoote!

[Robert Nyandiko Mose @MoseRobert]

Whatever that has been discovered as an irregularity with Kenya Institute of Management, the steps being taken here are way too drastic,inconsiderate and punitive. Revoking certifucates of innocent students 7 yrs back is insensitive. @TVETAKenya

[Robert Nyandiko Mose @MoseRobert]

Hi @johnkaranijk tuned in from Kionyo- Meru and enjoying the show. Big uos to everyone. #SundownerKBC

[Robert Nyandiko Mose @MoseRobert]

@KyaloIntel By donating you as a sacrifice to boost her business.

[Zoom Afrika @zoomafrika1]

Arabs are more £vil than white people

[Robert Nyandiko Mose @MoseRobert]

Hello sibs. Which handle does Khainga Okwenga use? I need to send my shoutouts. #kbcweekender

[George Njoroge @georgenjoroge_]

It's either my aunt Ka Wairimu is the most blessed woman alive… or she accidentally invented the most profitable marriage strategy in Kingeero.

This woman has been married four times.

Not because she's unlucky.

Not because she's difficult.

Because somehow, every single man she marries dies and leaves her everything.

Not small things.

Literally everything.

My entire village believes she's one of the infamous 'Atumia a Kiero Gitune' Women of the Red Thigh.

Kikuyu folklore suggests that marrying or having sexual relations with such a woman brings premature death or severe misfortune to the man.

My uncle Waruthu swears she was conceived during muito wa lari; the Lari Massacre, a time of mourning, grief and intense communal loss.

I am not a superstitious man.

But I am also not a fool.

Husband Number One was Mwangi wa Nguku. Small plot in Kingeero, a beat-up Probox and a chicken business with hundreds of hens.

Mwangi dies in 2009.

Sudden heart attack.

Ka Wairimu inherits the plot, the Probox and the entire chicken business.

A normal widow mourns quietly, maybe remarries after two years, moves on with life.

Ka Wairimu mourned for exactly four months, sold the chickens and started looking.

Husband Number Two was Mugo wa Kibiru from Nyeri.

Stone house, mkokoteni business and a small hardware along Waiyaki Way in Kinoo.

Mugo also dies.

I want to be very clear.

Nobody is accusing Ka Wairimu of anything.

God gives and God takes.

Ka Wairimu inherits the stone house, the mkokoteni and the hardware.

She sells the mkokoteni. She keeps everything else.

By this point Kingeero is watching.

Silently.

Because Ka Wairimu is a church elder and the Chairlady of the women’s guild and the woman has the hearing of a bat.

Husband Number Three was Nyaga wa Gitende from Kianjau, Thika.

Title deed, sand-transporting lorries, and a very misplaced confidence that he was doing Ka Wairimu a favour.

Three years later.

You already know.

Ka Wairimu is now holding three title deeds, one hardware, one lorry and the full moral authority of a woman who has suffered greatly.

Every Sunday at ACK church she sits front row, sings loudest and receives the most sympathy in the congregation.

The pastor prays for her personally every single service.

The pastor does not know he is interceding for a real estate portfolio.

Now here is where the story changes gear completely.

Husband Number Four was a mzungu.

I swear, I am not fabricating this.

A retired British man called Roger Stanley.

He came to Limuru for the tea farms and somehow ended up at a harambee at Ka Wairimu's church.

Roger thought he had found a humble, God-fearing African woman.

Roger did not know he had walked into Ka Wairimu's boardroom.

They married.

Roger bought 200 acres in Tigoni.

Built a house with a driveway.

Had a pension, investments and property back in Leicester.

Roger lasted two years.

God's will.

Ka Wairimu now has a lawyer, a passport and has been to the UK twice for "estate matters."

She came back the second time with a rolling suitcase, a new accent on select words and the energy of a woman who has fully cracked the code.

Last week at my cousin's ruracio, she sat at the high table, ate nyama with the elders, gave a moving speech about family and love then quietly asked if there were any serious, God-fearing men of means looking for a prayerful, experiencedwife.

She said experienced.😳

Ka Wairimu is either the most blessed widow in Central Kenya…

…or she has been running a business this entire time and none of us read the terms and conditions.

We are monitoring her situation very closely. 😂

[Robert Nyandiko Mose @MoseRobert]

@NexusGlobal14 You are tempting us. Why should they all be in the water at the same time? Stop testing us!

[wife of a sailor ⚓ @YaminiV97167121]

Aaj ka gyaan 😂😂

[Robert Nyandiko Mose @MoseRobert]

Hello https://t.co/eCIayN2ZAi.
My name is Robert Mose A/c no. 28978611. I'm calling to report that we have not been without power for the last three weeks since our transformer that was leaking was taken. Please do something. https://t.co/Y26Gc3h2qI